My Partner is Poisoning Me
Domestic violence can happen in many ways. Some, such as physical abuse, are more apparent, while others are not. One form of physical abuse that is difficult to recognize is a partner poisoning someone. Over the past five years, The Hotline has received 111 contacts who stated their partner poisoned them. However, since poisoning does not leave noticeable marks or bruises, more people may experience this than they realize. This makes poisoning extremely dangerous and even if discovered it can cause lasting health issues. If you suspect that your partner is poisoning you, here are some things to consider.
What is Poison?
Poison is any substance that harms your body. Many different types exist and are commonly found in everyday household products. In addition, medication used not as directed or by someone not prescribed it can also be harmful. Poison is ingested either by breathing it in, swallowing or consuming it through the mouth, and absorbing it through the skin.
Why Would My Partner Poison Me?
Abusive partners poison their significant others as a way to gain or maintain power and control. Poisoning makes survivors physically ill or weak, which makes it easier for the abusive partner to control them. Additionally, poisoning can enable sexual abuse, as survivors may not have the strength or awareness to defend themselves against what is happening. Being constantly sick also impacts a survivor’s ability to work or support themselves. This gives an abusive partner even more power over the survivor, especially if they are experiencing symptoms of poisoning and financial abuse. That makes it harder for them to leave or find a safe place.
One challenge survivors face when poisoned by their partner is proving it to others. Many poisons can be mixed with other substances, meaning they do not know they have ingested them until they begin to experience symptoms. Indeed, some symptoms may not occur until hours later. This is something an abusive partner can use to gaslight the survivor. For example, if a survivor believes they are being poisoned, the abusive partner can say they are imagining things. It also creates more opportunities for the abusive partner to isolate the survivor from their friends or family. The abusive partner may say the survivor is “hallucinating” or “sick” and unable to talk or visit friends or family.
The Symptoms of Poisoning
Symptoms people experience when poisoned depend on a variety of factors, including the poison used, how much the survivor ingests, how often it occurs, as well as their overall age and health. Poisoning symptoms may appear immediately or take several hours to appear. If you suspect your partner is poisoning you, be aware of the following symptoms:
- Changes in body temperature.
- Changes in heart rate.
- Chest pain.
- Cough, possibly with blood.
- Diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting.
- Dizziness or fainting.
- Eye pain, redness, or trouble seeing.
- Severe burning in your eyes, nose, and throat.
- Skin rash, redness, pain, burning, or stinging.
What To Do If You Suspect Poisoning
When you suspect that your partner poisoned you, the first step is to ensure that you are safe. In the case that your symptoms are extreme, contact 911 immediately. Some survivors feel uncomfortable contacting 911, so if possible, contact a close family member or friend who can take you to an emergency clinic.
If you know what poison you ingested and do not have life-threatening symptoms, call the American Association of Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222 as soon as possible.
Whenever you visit the doctor or emergency room because of poisoning, try to talk to the doctor alone. The unfortunate reality is that many abusive partners attend medical appointments with their partners and either speak for the survivor or intimidate the survivor into not sharing their full experience. Additionally, some survivors worry about what doctors are mandated to report. If you’re worried that the doctor will file a police report, learn what doctors are legally mandated to report in your state.
Even if your abusive partner doesn’t go to the appointment, some survivors fear their abusive partner learning about their medical visit. If that is the case, try visiting a free clinic so your partner cannot see your visit on your bank statement. Your medical information should be private under HIPAA laws; however, check with your doctor beforehand if you have questions.
If you talk to the doctor and they do not believe you have been poisoned and are unwilling to run tests, seek a second opinion. Doctors should respect what their patients request even though they may not understand all the dynamics of abuse.
A Survivor’s Story
A contact reached out looking for help with their abusive partner. The survivor shared that they had PTSD and a serious neurological condition. She knew something was wrong and went to the doctor. They ran some tests and found that she had been chronically poisoned with antifreeze and other chemicals.
If you think you may have been poisoned, trust your instincts and seek medical attention.
You Are Not Alone.
It is scary to realize that your partner is poisoning you. You may not know what to believe or how to get help. Our advocates are available 24/7 through call, chat, and text to talk about the situation. They can help you create a safety plan, document the abuse, and explain what options are available to get help. You are not alone.