Power and Control Wheel

Power and Control Wheel

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4 replies
  1. I wanted to send my brother something showing examples of ways his wife is abusing him. And on your wheel you have “using male privilege”. What about the men that are psychologically abused by women every single day? What about using female privilege against a man? Like slapping him in the face and he can do nothing to defend himself because he is a man? I’ve seen this with friends. I’ve seen this with family members, time and time again. My brother is a good and gentle soul, he will see something like that and feel terrible Because of her abuse and gaslighting. I’m so frustrated that I can’t find something for my brother.

  2. Valentina –

    Just because this says “male privilege” doesn’t mean that those things are the only things that go in that box. Women who are manipulative can use similar tactics to their advantage. This wheel can help your brother regardless of what’s in it. If he is experiencing just one or two of these categories, he is a victim of domestic violence. He doesn’t need to experience them all.

    Stand up for your brother if he is being victimized – men are less likely to come forward, and people are less likely to believe them, as statistically speaking women are the victims.

  3. This is EXACTLY the problem and the reason why male victims are not listend to and have to suffer in silence. Websites like this are causing the problem by putting wheels that mention only one gender on it. It’s OK saying her brother can just take the bits from it that mean something to him, BUT, its THE reason why men are not believed or helped in the same way. In the UK an area of the country had 5 deaths due to domestic violence over a period of 5 years.. FOUR out of the five deaths were men! It is widely acknowledged that domestic violence against men is a lot bigger than first thought and that if men were encouraged, just as women are, to come forward then the percentages would be a lot closer. Especially when you take into consideration mental abuse which women use to control their partners.
    Male websites use similar wheels but they are not gender specific. They incorporate anyone from whatever gender or background. They have got with the times and its these websites that help everyone (including men) who feel and realize they are victims just the same. It’s the way forward!
    Unfortunately websites like this are what’s pushing men into black holes of despair with less people believing them. It’s not about percentages, its NOT a game with winners based on which gender suffers the most. It should be about helping EVERYONE equally.
    On a final note I saw an American programme with hidden cameras. When two actors pretended to have a fight, when the woman was being hit everyone rushed to help her. When the man was being hit people just laughed! Including an off duty police officer. I think that tells its own story of the perception in America to Domestic Violence against men and the lack of sympathy due to sexist wheels like this one. The only way forward is to look at the future without gender bias and to treat everyone the same.

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