The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Is This Abuse?

Get the facts

One-on-One Chat

As you read this info, remember that you can click the chat icon to talk to an advocate everyday from 7 a.m. to 2 a.m. CST.

Red Flags

Learn more about power, control, and the warning signs of the many different types of abuse.

24/7 Call Services

If anything you read here makes you want to talk to someone, call us at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), available 24/7.

What Does An Abusive Relationship Look Like?

Does your partner ever….

Embarrass you with put-downs?

Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?

Look at you or act in ways that scare you?

Push you, slap you, choke you or hit you?

Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?

Control the money in the relationship? Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?

Make all of the decisions?

Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away your children?

Prevent you from working or attending school?

Act like the abuse is no big deal, deny the abuse or tell you it’s your own fault?

Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?

Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?

Attempt to force you to drop criminal charges?

Threaten to commit suicide, or threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. In this section, you’ll find more information on the types of abuse, why people abuse and why it’s so difficult to leave. Don’t hesitate to chat or call us (1-800-799-7233) if anything you read raises a red flag about your own relationship or that of someone you know.

We’re here to help.

Abuse Defined
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. How is it defined?

Why Do People Abuse?
Abuse is about power and control.

Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships?
If you’ve never been in an abusive relationship, it’s hard to understand why it’s so difficult to leave.

LGBTQ Abuse
Victims of domestic violence in the LGBTQ communities often experience abuse in ways that are specific and unique to these communities.

Abuse and Immigrants
Everyone has the right to live life free of abuse. Immigrants in the US may have specific concerns about getting help.

What is a Healthy Relationship?
What does a “healthy” relationship look like? In a relationship, who decides what is healthy and what isn’t?