The Negative Effects of Anger On You and Others

what causes domestic violence

The Negative Effects of Anger On You and Others

Has there ever been a time in your life when you got angry and ended up hurting someone you care about? In the aftermath of feeling mad, it’s often easy to spot and pinpoint the damage you’ve done. There are visible, tangible signs: tears on the face of your partner, a heavy silence hanging in the air after a loud shouting match.

But anger issues can also cause problems in your life that perhaps aren’t so easy to spot right away. Unfortunately, there’s a whole laundry list of ways that anger can have a negative effect on your life and on the lives of those around you.

Do you ever feel like your anger might be getting out of control? Do you have trouble calming down when you get angry? How do you express these feelings?  If anger is a common emotion in your life, chances are you’re causing undue harm to yourself and others.

Your anger affects you

Do you ever feel really angry and unable to let something go? Do you feel like you’re continually on the brink, or on edge? When your anger lasts for extended periods of time, it becomes more difficult to cope with little aggravations in your life and it becomes harder to de-stress.

This can affect every day activities, like work and extracurriculars. It can be hard to focus on tasks or accomplish projects, and can make people not want to work alongside you. Anger also causes feelings like guilt, remorse and shame (especially if you generally act out in ways that you later regret.)

If you’re angry and constantly stressed because of this, it’s also likely that you’ll feel unable to let loose and have fun — which is important for your mental wellbeing.

Excessive anger also puts your physical wellbeing at risk. In the short term, anger can cause headaches, migraines, chest pains, aches and more. Over the long term, anger issues can further complicate pre-existing health conditions. It can also put you at risk for hypertension, high blood pressure, depression, and cardiovascular issues.

While this all may sound like a television PSA for a new drug with “possible side effects,” the impact that your anger issues can have on your life are real and far-reaching.

Your anger affects those around you

You know the saying “laughter is contagious?” The same holds true for other emotions. Your anger can affect not only you, but the people in your life as well. It casts a negative feeling on those around you.

At the very least, your anger can cause people to feel put off, upset, intimidated, afraid, or a handful of other unpleasant emotions. You’re also running the risk of pushing loved ones out of your life for good.

Do you lash out at your partner when you’re angry? Whether this is emotional, physical or both, it can have an extremely negative effect on your partner’s wellbeing. Solving conflict with anger, yelling and violence also sets an unhealthy precedent in a relationship, ignoring the need for open, trusting communication.

If you’re taking out your anger on your partner, give us a call at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233). You can speak confidentially with a non-judgmental advocate about these behaviors and discuss steps for getting help.

If you feel like your anger might be getting the best of you, becoming aware of this is the first step toward making a change.

Further Reading

Psychology Today has a lot of helpful articles about anger.

Comment section

10 replies
  1. this particular computer won’t allow me to “chat”, so I’m going to try this option. Hope it goes thru.
    I need help. I’m in a very abusive relationship. yes I have documentation. he has custody of our son. yeah, I got screwed in and out of court. its back and forth, back and forth. now it’s affecting my son. I’m ready to leave, but I’m not going without my son.

  2. Dear Roberta,

    Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline so we can try to get you some resources to help in your situation. Our number is (800) 799-7233.

    Hope to hear from you soon,
    Hotline Advocate_MT

  3. it abuse if my bf or 4 years with a 3 year old son gave the night off from kids one night, get drunk and get in a stupid argument and he gets mad about something I say and starts punching me in the back because I turn into the couch cushions to protect myself… I try to get my phone and leave and he takes his shirt of then continually pushes me so I run to the back porch and try to jump over the patio barrier, screaming for help, but he pulls me down to the ground to the cement, I get up run back in the kitchen, grab a knife out of the knife block to protect myself but accidently cut myself… My neighbor heard my screams from when I was trying to get out of the patio and comes through the front door. I see her and drop the knifes back in the counter. She runs to me trying to get me out, he lunges at me acting like I “just went crazy” and tells her I am a psycho… She takes me upstairs and bandages my hand.. The entire time he is saying how “I just went crazy”…. Am I crazy? I am starting to think I am. But he hit me and he is twice my size, am I wrong to have grabbed knifes? Ughhh someone answer me. This is probably the 4th time in 4 years that I have felt I had to grab knives to protect myself…

  4. Anon,

    Thank you for sharing with our blog community. This sounds like such a scary situation. It sounds like there are a lot of different forms of abuse occurring here and it can feel really overwhelming thinking about them all at once. We know that people who are abusive use many different tactics to gain power and control over their partners, including minimizing the abuse or shifting the blame. It seems like that is what is going on here, and I am concerned for your safety.

    It sounds like you have tried many different strategies to stay safe, and its so important to continue expanding on those. Here, at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, advocates are available to brainstorm ways to stay safe in a dangerous situation. I encourage you to give us a call at 1800-799-7233, we are available 24/7 to offer guidance and support and your call will remain completely anonymous and confidential.


  5. That certainly sounds like a difficult situation that would be best served by communicating with you directly. If you would please call us 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233, we would be happy to discuss your concerns and offer some strategies.

  6. I honestly do not feel as if your crazy. You were protecting yourself he’s the crazy one. I would just find a day where he is working or sleeping n get my clothes, things that are special to me and leave. If he loved you he wouldn’t be hitting you when other people make him angry.

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