Learning to Love Again after Abuse

Learning to Love Again after Abuse

By Jameel Muhammad

Learning to love again once you have been a victim of emotional or physical abuse is a daunting yet necessary struggle. As a survivor, you have likely been made to feel isolated from your other relationships by your abuser, and as a result you may feel alone. You may also feel helpless to begin rebuilding the foundation of self-empathy, a necessary component in the process of healing and loving again. Self-empathy allows you to connect to your feelings and your experiences in a way that enables you to identify with the part of you that is alive, energetic, fun and worth loving again.  

When you can identify with the part of you that is divinely connected to its spiritual source, you gain the desire, the urge and the will to reconnect with others in your life that serve as a reminder of just how great and wonderful you are as a person. When healing occurs through the mining of self-love, learning to love again will not just be a fleeting notion blocked by your past pain, but an open pathway to your own emotional salvation. 

How you ultimately define yourself, and more specifically, your love life, could either create future negative experiences, or present a plethora of opportunities to engage and relate to others in a positive way. Once you have effectively re-immersed yourself in your uniqueness and your distinct identity, then you can more easily connect with others, not just as a victim or as a survivor, but as a person whose self-worth radiates love. Your love makes you wholly unique and special, and since your abuser did not create it and give it to you, they cannot take it away. 

Learning to love again is a journey that helps you to reshape and build every relationship. This journey helps you to reflect on your newfound inspiration to share love, not as a conditional emotional need for validation, but as an infinite expression of the life force within you that gives you energy and the motivation to be you. Your love life does not only include your intimate experiences, but rather, it is the sum of interactions with everyone you’re close to, including your family and friends. Whom you choose to have a close romantic relationship with is important, but that choice is just one part of your love life. Learning to relate to all of your loved ones with a renewed vigor is essential in the journey to love again and heal from abuse.  

Your love is a divine gift, and you never need to allow anyone to separate you from expressing it again.  

If you’re struggling to love again after experiencing abuse, advocates from The Hotline are available 24/7/365 to help you through it. Contact them by phone at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or chat at www.thehotline.org 

Jameel Muhammad, a proud husband and father, is passionate about helping people build healthy relationships. He is a motivational speaker, coach, author of Learning to Love Again and founder of Real Men Against Domestic Violence.

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