50 Obstacles to Leaving: 41-50

[social_share/]Still with us? Today is our final day of demonstrating just how many roadblocks can stand in the way between abuse and freedom for a victim. A victim is never to blame for abuse. While these barriers to a violence-free life can seem insurmountable at times, know that advocates on the hotline are available to talk and brainstorm strategies with you 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233). 41. Rural Victims: Victims may be isolated and simply unable to access services due to lack of transportation, or the needed programs are distant and unable to provide outreach. 42. Safer to Stay: Assessing that it is safer to ... Read More »

50 Obstacles to Leaving: 31-40

[social_share/] Leaving can be one of the most dangerous times in an abusive relationship, and there are countless reasons that victims are unable to leave. The question "Why don't you just leave?" places blame on the victim and undermines the difficult, complicated nature of leaving abuse. To help address this, we've adapted Sarah M. Buel’s “Fifty Obstacles to Leaving, a.k.a., Why Abuse Victims Stay.” This week we're making our way through this list in hopes of illuminating the barriers that often prevent someone from getting out of an abusive relationship. Today we're taking a closer look at ten more obstacles. 31. Mentally or Developmentally ... Read More »

50 Obstacles to Leaving: 21-30

[social_share/]“Why don’t you just leave the relationship?” According to Sarah Buel: "This question has been fueled by those who believe that remaining with a batterer indicates stupidity, masochism, or codependence. Far from being accurate, such labels prove dangerous to victims because they tend to absolve batterers of responsibility for their crimes." There are many different reasons that a victim may stay in an abusive relationship. This week to shed some light on the frequently asked question of why a victim doesn't just leave, we're taking a closer look at 50 different obstacles that prevent someone from leaving. Follow along on our blog throughout ... Read More »

50 Obstacles to Leaving: 11-20

[social_share/]Can you imagine the frustration of a victim being asked, "Why don't you just leave?" While leaving seems like a quick and easy fix to escape abuse, we know that leaving an abusive partner is a complicated, difficult challenge and often the most dangerous time in a relationship. Victims have many reasons for staying. This week we're giving you 50, adapted from Sarah M. Buel’s “Fifty Obstacles to Leaving, a.k.a., Why Abuse Victims Stay.” 11. Family Pressure: Family members exert pressure if they believe there’s no excuse for leaving a marriage or if they’re in denial about the abuse. 12. Fear of Retaliation: The ... Read More »

50 Obstacles to Leaving: 1-10

[social_share/] “It would take me yet another year of planning, forgiving, calling, reaching for help, before I could leave.” —Sarah Buel Leaving is not easy. On average, it takes a victim seven times to leave before staying away for good. Exiting the relationship is most unsafe time for a victim. As the abuser senses that they’re losing power, they will often act in dangerous ways to regain control over their victim. We know victim's frustrations with feeling like the abuse is somehow their fault. If only they'd leave, right? Wrong. We know better. In fact, we're taking a closer look at 50 reasons ... Read More »

Shared Voices PT 2: Your Stories of Life After Abuse

Yesterday we shared some survivor’s stories that we were fortunate enough to have received from our inspirational Facebook community. These stories expressed the patience and hope needed to rebuild your life after abuse, and we heard from survivors in all different stages of healing. Some shared their feelings on whether or not they'd want another relationship. Many spoke about how important it is to spend time focusing on yourself and your own pursuits and learning to love yourself. We're so thankful for everyone who was able to share their personal stories with us, and we hope that reading these will inspire courage ... Read More »

Shared Voices: Your Stories of Life After Abuse

Those who have left an abusive relationship many times come face to face with new challenges and a complicated healing and recovery process. Last month we explored this topic of life after abuse and asked our Facebook community to share their own experiences finding happiness with a new partner. The responses were powerful and enlightening. We heard from survivors in all stages of recovery. Many shared messages of their courage and openness to try to find love again, and we were reminded that rebuilding your life after abuse can take time and space. Here are some survivors who shared their unique stories ... Read More »