Comments on: What is a Healthy Relationship? http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:58:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: HotlineAdmin_CO http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17459 HotlineAdmin_CO Thu, 28 Feb 2013 04:31:35 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17459 Hello Daniel, Thank you for your words of encouragement,it sounds like you want people to be safe. Domestic Violence is such a complex situation that at times walking away might not be the safest thing to do. The most dangerous time in a DV relationship is when the victim decides to leave and it is important to have a safety plan during that time. If you have any questions about this process please feel free to give us a call at The Hotline. You can reach The Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233. Hello Daniel,

Thank you for your words of encouragement,it sounds like you want people to be safe. Domestic Violence is such a complex situation that at times walking away might not be the safest thing to do. The most dangerous time in a DV relationship is when the victim decides to leave and it is important to have a safety plan during that time. If you have any questions about this process please feel free to give us a call at The Hotline. You can reach The Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233.

]]> By: Danial Garcia http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17458 Danial Garcia Thu, 28 Feb 2013 04:14:51 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17458 Sometimes you must have courage even to walk away. I think you all owe yourselves and your kids that much. I guess every case is different and there may be compelling reasons but you can always walk away. Sometimes you must have courage even to walk away. I think you all owe yourselves and your kids that much. I guess every case is different and there may be compelling reasons but you can always walk away.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_MB http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17289 HotlineAdmin_MB Mon, 18 Feb 2013 04:49:20 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17289 Nid, Your situation sounds scary. Even though your husband has mental health issues you do not deserve to be verbally or physically hurt. I am sorry to hear that the police are not helping you. Have you talked to his doctor about his threat to kill himself? You deserve to live in a peaceful environment and may be able to get a restraining order against him to protect yourself. If you would like more options concerning your situation, please call 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 to speak with an advocate at The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Thank you for reaching out through the Share Your Voice blog community. Hotlineadvocate_MB Nid,

Your situation sounds scary. Even though your husband has mental health issues you do not deserve to be verbally or physically hurt. I am sorry to hear that the police are not helping you. Have you talked to his doctor about his threat to kill himself? You deserve to live in a peaceful environment and may be able to get a restraining order against him to protect yourself. If you would like more options concerning your situation, please call 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 to speak with an advocate at The National Domestic Violence Hotline. Thank you for reaching out through the Share Your Voice blog community.

Hotlineadvocate_MB

]]> By: Nid http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17283 Nid Sun, 17 Feb 2013 22:31:53 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17283 Im in an abusive relationship, my husband of 16 years had a severe accident and know suffers with post traumatic syndrome and has mental issues. He is medicated all day and gets pretty violent. He is awaiting for a settlement and I stay because he is sick with no money. But lately he is getting worst and know he even argues and hits me in front of our kids. I know I need to leave but he threatens he is going to kill himself in front of my job or the kids. I have called the police and I turn out to be the bad guy. The police have done a report and said maam you cannot kick him out this is his house. Eventhlugh the bruises and the threats. Where is the justice sometimes. Im in an abusive relationship, my husband of 16 years had a severe accident and know suffers with post traumatic syndrome and has mental issues. He is medicated all day and gets pretty violent. He is awaiting for a settlement and I stay because he is sick with no money. But lately he is getting worst and know he even argues and hits me in front of our kids. I know I need to leave but he threatens he is going to kill himself in front of my job or the kids. I have called the police and I turn out to be the bad guy. The police have done a report and said maam you cannot kick him out this is his house. Eventhlugh the bruises and the threats. Where is the justice sometimes.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_VW http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17233 HotlineAdmin_VW Thu, 14 Feb 2013 05:29:31 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17233 Dear Denroy, Sorry, your recent marriage and life has become so confusing. You sound like a person with drive and ambition to better yourself. Sometimes all of us need a listening ear, to help get us back on track. Maybe talking to The Hotline can help you determine priorities so you can work your way back to an improved direction for your life. We're always here, just a phone call away. 1-800-799-7233. Dear Denroy, Sorry, your recent marriage and life has become so confusing. You sound like a person with drive and ambition to better yourself. Sometimes all of us need a listening ear, to help get us back on track. Maybe talking to The Hotline can help you determine priorities so you can work your way back to an improved direction for your life. We’re always here, just a phone call away. 1-800-799-7233.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_VW http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17232 HotlineAdmin_VW Thu, 14 Feb 2013 05:17:39 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17232 Dear Paul, The description of your relationship making you feel like you're, "walking on eggshells" tells me you both are living in high anxiety, rather than in a relationship that should be offering both of you, a stable, peaceful, center of your world. I wish I had a short answer for you, but I don't! However, it might be worth your while to call The Hotline and let's talk over what's happening and your desire for a healthy relationship. Just remember 1-800-799-7233, 24/7. Dear Paul, The description of your relationship making you feel like you’re, “walking on eggshells” tells me you both are living in high anxiety, rather than in a relationship that should be offering both of you, a stable, peaceful, center of your world. I wish I had a short answer for you, but I don’t! However, it might be worth your while to call The Hotline and let’s talk over what’s happening and your desire for a healthy relationship.
Just remember 1-800-799-7233, 24/7.

]]> By: Friend to an abused mother http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17229 Friend to an abused mother Thu, 14 Feb 2013 04:03:38 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17229 Today at school, a fellow nursing student shared with me her story of abuse. She had a child with her abuser. He left her when she was pregnant. Because he has had three felony DUIs and one order of protection against him, she has somehow been able to keep herself and their daughter away from him for the past three years. However, he went and filed for visitation recently. With documented abuse to her while she was holding the child, and repeated felony DUIs (while somehow being able to avoid being charged with violation of probation), he has been awarded unsupervised visitation. She has a lawyer who is unable to get her and the child the protection needed. They are residents in Oklahoma where the laws do not seem to do enough to protect her or her daughter. And, The judge just "shrugged his shoulders" when she pleaded with him to not allow him unsupervised visitation. She is now getting back together with him because she "will not allow him to be alone with their daughter". She admits he will abuse her again, but feels powerless to safeguard herself in any way. She feels unsafe to get a secret cell phone bc "he would easily find it". She can't go to the neighbors for help bc he doesn't work and watches as she comes home from school every day. What options are there for a woman in this situation. She feels the only option is to wait to be beaten again and to hopefully find a way to call the cops before she heals from her injuries. She says he holds her hostage when her injuries are visible until they disappear. There is nothing about her stories that sounds fake. She is hopeless and told me all this with an almost flat affect. This is just her reality and there seems to be no options available to her. How can I help? How can she get effective legal help? Are there any lawyers in Oklahoma who have adequate knowledge to defend her and her child? She is willing to leave the state but does not want to break any laws or risk losing primary custody of their daughter. Any advice is appreciated. Today at school, a fellow nursing student shared with me her story of abuse. She had a child with her abuser. He left her when she was pregnant. Because he has had three felony DUIs and one order of protection against him, she has somehow been able to keep herself and their daughter away from him for the past three years. However, he went and filed for visitation recently. With documented abuse to her while she was holding the child, and repeated felony DUIs (while somehow being able to avoid being charged with violation of probation), he has been awarded unsupervised visitation. She has a lawyer who is unable to get her and the child the protection needed. They are residents in Oklahoma where the laws do not seem to do enough to protect her or her daughter. And,
The judge just “shrugged his shoulders” when she pleaded with him to not allow him unsupervised visitation.
She is now getting back together with him because she “will not allow him to be alone with their daughter”. She admits he will abuse her again, but feels powerless to safeguard herself in any way. She feels unsafe to get a secret cell phone bc “he would easily find it”. She can’t go to the neighbors for help bc he doesn’t work and watches as she comes home from school every day. What options are there for a woman in this situation. She feels the only option is to wait to be beaten again and to hopefully find a way to call the cops before she heals from her injuries. She says he holds her hostage when her injuries are visible until they disappear.
There is nothing about her stories that sounds fake. She is hopeless and told me all this with an almost flat affect. This is just her reality and there seems to be no options available to her.

How can I help? How can she get effective legal help? Are there any lawyers in Oklahoma who have adequate knowledge to defend her and her child? She is willing to leave the state but does not want to break any laws or risk losing primary custody of their daughter. Any advice is appreciated.

]]> By: denroy http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17215 denroy Tue, 12 Feb 2013 23:48:45 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17215 hello I think im in an abusive unhealthy relationship with my wife and I would love to get out peacefully she is very disrespectful abusive the works I have been here for only two months she threw me out with my things in the cold I think she marry me and took me up as an investment as she knew my ambition is to be in the navy I guess she thougt as I came here I would just drop in the navy but it is taking longer than she thought so she is telling me that I have to leave now I dont have anywhere to go I dont know anywhere to go because she doesnt take me anywhere so idont know anywhere im so hurt im sorry I came even though im happy for the oppertunity to make good of myself I wanted my marriage to work I even suggest that we get counceling but she said no I would love to stay here but I dont know what to do im confused I wish I had some where to go o need help please hello I think im in an abusive unhealthy relationship with my wife and I would love to get out peacefully she
is very disrespectful abusive the works I have been here for only two months she threw me out with my things in the cold I think she marry me and took me up as an investment as she knew my ambition is to be in the navy I guess she thougt as I came here I would just drop in the navy but it is taking longer than she thought so she is telling me that I have to leave now I dont have anywhere to go I dont know anywhere to go because she doesnt take me anywhere so idont know anywhere im so hurt im sorry I came even though im happy for the oppertunity to make good of myself I wanted my marriage to work I even suggest that we get counceling but she said no I would love to stay here but I dont know what to do im confused I wish I had some where to go o need help please

]]> By: Paul http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17212 Paul Tue, 12 Feb 2013 20:16:22 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17212 What do you do when the criteria for a healthy relationship isn't being met by either party, but you really want to be with her? I mean, we're both critical of one another, we'll be disrespectful.. She's not very compromising or supportive, and we've both made the statement we are afraid to say some things and feel like we're walking on egg shells.. What do you do when the criteria for a healthy relationship isn’t being met by either party, but you really want to be with her?

I mean, we’re both critical of one another, we’ll be disrespectful.. She’s not very compromising or supportive, and we’ve both made the statement we are afraid to say some things and feel like we’re walking on egg shells..

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_CO http://www.thehotline.org/2013/01/what-is-a-healthy-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-17151 HotlineAdmin_CO Fri, 08 Feb 2013 05:12:35 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4468#comment-17151 Beth, Leaving can be difficult and at times you can feel like you will not be able to leave. It is not impossible to leave, there are resources and we are here for you. If you want to talk or come up with a safety plan you can contact The Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The Hotline is available 24 hours a day, so feel free to call anytime you like. Beth,

Leaving can be difficult and at times you can feel like you will not be able to leave. It is not impossible to leave, there are resources and we are here for you. If you want to talk or come up with a safety plan you can contact The Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The Hotline is available 24 hours a day, so feel free to call anytime you like.

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