Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 20: Congrats!

Today is the final day of October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month. We would like to thank everyone who completed the DVAM Challenge and who helped spread awareness of domestic violence in their community.

The challenge saw us build support systems, reach out to friends who are hurting, evaluate our own behavior and relationships, identify resources that could help and even unite our voices with the NO MORE campaign. We talked about on-going wellness and ways to recognize abuse.

We hope that this month of change inspires you moving forward in your work and in your personal relationships. The final challenge is to stay committed to this issue. Don’t forget that domestic violence can affect anyone in any community. Remember that there are always advocates at The Hotline who are here to talk to you 24/7. Remember that you can make a difference in ending domestic violence, no matter the month.

Thank you for joining the DVAM Challenge.

12 replies
  1. Peaches says:

    If you are an active duty woman, serving in the United States Armed Forces, and a victim of domestic violence please know that your circumstances are different. It is not impossible for you to get out of your abusive situation, and I recommend that you as soon as possible, but that you do so wisely. These organization have just begun to entertain the possibility of a military female as a victim of domestic violence and have no programs in place to prevent your re-victimization by the male dominated military institution, by local law enforcement agencies, or by the state and federal judicial and legislative systems.

    These domestic violence prevention organizations are designed to assist civilian women and the female military spouse, which is evidenced by their plea for you leave your abusive situation, without understanding there is no place for the military woman to go, or that leaving could result in your confinement to a military barracks while your children are remain with an abusive spouse. They say, tell someone about the abuse you are experiencing,without knowing that breaking your silence could result in further ridicule, humiliation, degradation, negative repercussions on your career, and even punishment by your command and law enforcement. they will send you to the Family Advocacy Program which will only offers conversation about your discharge from the military for allowing yourself to be abused. No one is aware or at least fails to inform you that the judicial and legislative systems do not protect you and if you file for divorce in certain states your abuse is ignored as they force you to pay your abuser half of you military retirement pay every month until the day you you die,

    It is possible to put your abusive situation behind you but you must make sure that you are prepared you, that you plan and exercise care in not allowing yourself to fall victim to those organizations that claim they can help. Because those who offer assistance have yet to penetrate the military curtain. spouse.

    • HotlineAdmin_MB says:

      Peaches,

      You are right that a victim of abuse in the military faces different challenges than a civilian. Military culture has rules that differ from the civilian world. There is an organization called SWAN (Service Women’s Action Network) that has a confidential helpline number 1-888-729-2089. Anyone impacted by the military can use this number. They can help with legal advice, guidance, and referrals. Also, http://www.militaryonesource.mil can be helpful. Advocates at the National Domestic Violence Hotline are available 24/7 at 1-800-7233 for guidance, support, safety planning, and referrals. Thank you for sharing with our blog community.

      Hotlineadvocate_MB

  2. Lisa says:

    Hello,

    My ex-husband admitted under oath during a deposition in an ongoing custody dispute that he installed spyware onto my computer. He admitted to being able to monitor my online activity, log in log out times, web sites I visited, email exchanges, facebook and myspace activity. This is what he admitted to seeing but he could see all of my online activity which went far beyond just these few site mentioned. I also did my online banking and my online phone records were available for him to see. He could read all of my email exchanges to my lawyer to prepare for my custody case. I always wondered why he was one stop ahead! He also used the information he could see online to stalk me or to have other people stalk me. I have subpoenad text messages from my ex husband and the woman he used to stalk me proving the continuous stalking. She even asked him the layout of my house! He also shared the information he could see through his spyware with this woman. I feel extremely violated and am very scared. I have suffered emotionally from this situation and cannot seem to get any help.

    I have filed a police report and the police officer and detective said my ex-husband broke the Computer Tampering Law, which is a felony. The police officer gave our local State’s Attorney the report and I have called every week to see if anything has been done. Still nothing has been filed. Please help me and guide me in the right direction. I am scared to leave my house, use my computer and have suffered so much from this for much too long. I am constantly looking over my shoulder and have isolated myself because of fear. What can I do to press felony charges as a felony has clearly been committed?

    Thanks!

    • HotlineAdmin_SG says:

      Lisa,

      Thanks for sharing with our blog community. This sounds like a scary situation. It sounds like you have been so resourceful and proactive in looking for help and filing the police report. Unfortunately we are not legal advocates but we can definitely talk through a few of the issues and help connect you with a local program that may be able to further assist you. If you feel safe to, I encourage you to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The hotline is available 24 hours a day and is completely anonymous.

      HotlineAdvocate_SG

  3. susan says:

    Please get her out of that situation and quick before she is killed. It will only get worse. I was almost killed this year. Help her to get away. Do whatever you have to get her out and the children. Leave material things behind. It is much easier to start over from scratch. Her life is worth losing the material things if need be. Help is out there. It is a hard thing to leave sometimes but its not going to get better. Her children do not need to be around the violence.

    • HotlineAdmin_SG says:

      Susan,

      Thank you for sharing with our blog community and for your words of encouragement. We know that the most difficult and most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the person is trying to leave, and what works for one person may not work for another. We encourage everyone who wants guidance and help to develop a safety plan for leaving. That is one thing the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available for 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.

      Also, I removed your identifying information because of our community guidelines.

  4. Sarmistha says:

    I am a Indian wife and am on dependent visa in USA. My husband hits me whenever there is a argument . He is always bossing on and controls over everything.Once he had tried to choke me. I am not working here so i don’t have money . I have a child. I don’t have any family or friends here . What should i do?

    • HotlineAdmin_SG says:

      Sarmistha,

      Thank you so much for sharing with our blog community. It sounds like this is a very scary situation and it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help.

      From what you are describing, it sounds like this is a very abusive relationship. What we know about abuse is that it happens because one person wants power and control over their partner and does whatever they can to maintain that control, including physical or economic abuse. If you feel safe to use the phone, I encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to speak with an advocate 24/7. The HOTLINE is completely anonymous and confidential and is available to offer guidance and support as well as help come up with a safety plan for this situation.

      HotlineAdvocate_SG

  5. Sarmistha says:

    I have called the hotline and they are very helpful with information and giving emotional strength but my issue is with my dependent visa , i need a work permit to survive and if i get it then within how many days will i get it because the shelter will permit me to stay for limited time.

    • HotlineAdmin_MCo says:

      Hi Sarmistha,

      I’m so glad that you were able to reach out to the Hotline. We aren’t legal advocates here, however, we do know that you are protected under the Violence Against Women Act and can apply for certain visas, depending on your situation. There are some great online resources at, the Asian & Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence that might be helpful.

      You can also call us again and we can look for organizations in your area that provide immigration assistance. Our phone number again is 1(800)799.7233. We look forward to your call.

      Until then,

      Hotline Advocate MC

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