Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge: Follower Participation

We are amazed by your response to our DVAM challenge. We would like to thank each and every one of you for helping us to raise awareness of domestic violence through your social media. In viagra sales honor of your contribution, we want to spotlight a few of the meaningful conversations that we have had.

Thank you again for participating in our DVAM Challenge. We hope that you’ll continue to participate.

http://storify.com/loveisrespect/dvam-challenge-and-the-participation-of-our-follow

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 9: Share a Message of Support

Welcome to DVAM Challenge 9. We’re keeping it short and simple today. Understand your importance as a friend. What you say and do can really make a difference in someone’s story. If a loved one confides in you that they are experiencing abuse, believe them and be there for them. This doesn’t mean you have to “fix” their situation for them. They may just need to feel that they are not alone. You can do so much just by listening and not judging them.

Today, share this message and spread the idea that victims of domestic violence should be met with support from their family and friends. 

 

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 8: For Frustrated Friends & Family

Watching someone you love experience domestic violence can be very disheartening. If the person you care for is not reacting the way that you want them to — for example, leaving the situation – it’s easy to become frustrated.

One of the most common reasons that friends and family members of victims become frustrated is because they witness or hear about abusive behaviors happening repeatedly, but don’t see any action being made by their loved one. Witnessing repeated offenses can make it difficult for you to maintain a positive outlook on your loved one’s situation.

Unfortunately, this can have a very negative effect on the victim. Your disapproval may make them feel as if they are helpless and are doing nothing for themselves. They may feel as if they cannot turn to you in times of crisis because you will judge them — if they feel that you aren’t supportive, they might distance themselves from you.

A lot of people lose relationships because of domestic violence.

Remember that abusive relationships are very complex. Abusers often manipulate their victims into believing that they will never be successful, that they will be unsupported or that they will be harmed if they leave the relationship. That can be very scary. Furthermore, abusers often follow fits of rage with periods of kindness in which they are very sweet, apologize and promise not to commit that violence again. That can be very confusing for the victim. Sometimes victims even blame themselves for the abuse that they suffer, telling themselves that if they hadn’t said or done something, their partner wouldn’t have been set off.

Before you pass judgment, try to understand what’s happening in their relationship.

The most important thing that you can do for your loved one is to be there for them when they are in need. Supporting them through tough times will maintain the relationship, but will also provide the victim with a network of care outside of the relationship.

In the spirit of supporting a loved one even when it’s tough, today’s challenge highlights ongoing friendship. DVAM Challenge #8: please acknowledge someone who has always been there for you and shown you support. Say thank you to them and share with us how they have helped you. This doesn’t even need to be related to abuse. If you are sharing your story about abuse, please make sure you do so safely. If you feel that speaking out jeopardizes your safety, please don’t share publicly but rather thank your friend.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 7: Helping a Loved One

Helping a friend or family member who is in an abusive relationship can be challenging. If you have noticed that your loved one’s relationship is unhealthy, remember that they need your support. Understand that you can’t fix or change their situation. Only they can choose what to do. For example, if they aren’t concerned for their immediate safety, then you have to respect that.

When talking to your loved one about their relationship, be honest about your concerns, but stay focused on their needs and avoid being judgmental. Say things like, “When you said that your partner did this, that scared me,” and “I’m really concerned about your safety.” Avoid statements like, “Your partner is no good,” or “They need to treat you right.” Don’t talk about the partner directly and avoid attacking your loved one’s actions. Doing this will show your loved one that you care for them and will help to prevent them from feeling defensive.

Ultimately you have to let your loved one make their own decisions about their relationship — even if it means that they choose to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes it’s difficult to do when you feel that they aren’t making the right choice, but you have to respect them. Try to remember that their abuser is probably controlling them at home and the last thing they want is to have their friends and family try to tell them what to do also.

Regardless of their decision, support them. If they choose to stay in the relationship, help them keep documentation of abuse. You can take notes on a calendar, save a file on your computer or take pictures of injuries. Documentation can be used in court if your loved one ever decides to take legal action against their abuser. You can also help them to find resources in their community or to develop a safety plan.

If your loved one decides to leave, know that the road ahead for them will be difficult. They will need your support more than ever. You can even help them to connect with counselors and survivor’s groups to help them as they move forward.

We often refer people to a book called “Helping Her Get Free” by Susan Brewster. It is a guide for family members and friends of people in abusive relationships. This can be an excellent resource for more in-depth information and tips.

If you have any questions please give us a call at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). We can help you to find resources, safety plan and give you more information about what your loved one is experiencing.

For today’s DVAM Challenge, practice active listening. You can do this for any of your friends or family, no matter what their relationship status is.  Truly listen to a friend or family member and concentrate on what it is that they’re saying. Rephrase what you hear them say so that you are deeply engaged in what they are sharing with you. For example, you could say, “I’m hearing you say _____, is that right?” By practicing active listening, we can give better support to those we love.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 6: Be Supportive

We had a great first week of The Hotline DVAM Challenge. Here were the challenges so far:

Challenge 1: Commit to the DVAM Challenge
Challenge 2: Share the facts about domestic violence
Challenge 3: Take the quiz and test your knowledge
Challenge 4: End the stigma by sharing the truth
Challenge 5: Know (and share) the signs of abuse

This week, we will be focusing on the role that the support system plays for a survivor or victim of domestic violence.

We often have friends and family call The Hotline asking what they can do for their loved one who is experiencing abuse. This week, we’ll look at how we can encourage healthy relationships to those around us and how we can respond if someone turns to us for help.

Our DVAM challenge for Day 6 is simple but could be lifesaving. Please share our number with your network of friends and family. You could post the message below on Facebook, Twitter or email, or simply reach out to someone you know who may need to talk. If reaching out to a friend/family member, keep their safety in mind and don’t post the message in a place where their partner can see.

Facebook: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please call The Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) to speak to a supportive and caring advocate.

Twitter: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please call The Hotline @NDVH at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 5: Know the Signs of Abuse

Over 500 people shared our photo from Challenge Four on Facebook! The DVAM Challenge is off to a great start!

During this week, we have reflected on how information is powerful in understanding and ending domestic violence. Being able to tell the signs of domestic violence is very challenging, especially when it is happening to someone we love or maybe even ourselves.

Please read the following signs of abuse.

It may be abuse if one partner:

– Embarrasses the other with put-downs
– Acts in ways that scares the other partner
– Controls what the other does, who they see or talk to or where they go
– Stops the other partner from seeing friends or family members
– Takes the other partner’s money or Social Security check, makes the other partner ask for money or refuses to give money
– Makes all of the decisions
– Tells the other partner that they’re a bad parent or threatens to take away or hurt their children
– Prevents the other partner from working or attending school
– Acts like the abuse is no big deal, it’s the victim’s fault, or even denies doing it
– Destroys property or threatens to kill family pets
– Intimidates with guns, knives or other weapons
– Shoves, slaps, chokes, or hits the other
– Threatens to commit suicide
– Threatens to kill their partner

For today’s challenge, please share these warning signs with someone you know. You can make it a Facebook status, send one out as a tweet, email or simply talk about warning signs with a friend.

If you are experiencing the signs above, please call our advocates at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or at TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 4

We have to remove the stigma around domestic violence. Many statistics show that 1 in 4 women will be abused in their lifetime. Despite this high number, abuse is still a taboo subject. We need to make domestic violence an issue that we can talk about openly so that victims and survivors won’t feel judged for experiencing abuse. We should make sure that anyone who reaches out for support is met with understanding and compassion.

This week’s theme is that information equals power. For DVAM Challenge #4, please share this image. You may right click it and save it to your computer to be shared electronically via email, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Flickr or more. You could also actually print it out and tape it to a mirror in your house, or pin it to a bulletin board at your church, local cafe, workplace, etc.

Please share this message. Promote the idea that domestic violence can happen to anyone, and that there is support available.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 3: Test Your Knowledge of Domestic Violence

How much do you know about domestic violence? Take our quiz below as your DVAM challenge #3.

DVAM challenge #3: Answer true or false to the statements below and then continue reading on to see how you did.

1. Domestic violence is not a problem in your community.

2. Couples counseling is recommended by The Hotline for abusive relationships.

3. Sometimes the victim provokes their partner into abusing them.

4. Yelling, putting down or belittling someone isn’t ever considered abuse.

5. On average, more than 3 women are murdered by their partners every day.

6. If the abuse was getting too bad, the victim would just leave.

7. The most dangerous time for a victim is often when their partner first lashes out.

8. Everyone deserves respect in a relationship.

9. If children aren’t being abused and don’t witness the abuse, they aren’t affected.

10. The cost of domestic violence is extremely high to society.

What do you think? How many are true and how many are false? Here’s the key:

1. False. Domestic violence happens in every community. Unfortunately many cases go unreported.

2. False. The Hotline does NOT recommend couple’s counseling when there is abuse in the relationship. It can be very dangerous to the partner being abused. An abuser may use what is said in therapy later against their partner. Individual counseling may be helpful but couple’s counseling is not recommended. Read more here.

3. False. Regardless of their actions, no one deserves to be physically, verbally or sexually abused.

4. False. Domestic violence is the pattern of behavior than an abuser uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. It can be physical, verbal or sexual.

5. True. Each year, domestic violence results in an estimated 1,200 deaths and 2 million injuries among women. Furthermore, domestic violence results in nearly 600,000 injuries among men (CDC).

6. False. Many victims love their partners despite the abuse or feel as if they have no support system or resources outside of the relationship and so they feel as if they can’t leave. Furthermore, the period immediately after leaving an abusive relationship is extremely dangerous.

7. False. Domestic violence typically worsens over time. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim because their abusive partner feels like they are losing power and control. The abuser may escalate the abuse in order to regain that power and control.

8. True. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused and there is no excuse for being physically, verbally or sexually violent toward a partner.

9. False. Children are extremely perceptive. Even if they don’t see the abuse happening, they feel its effects.

10. True. Each year, domestic violence costs more than $5.8 billion dollars, with $4.1 billion of that amount being spent directly on medical and mental health services (NCADV).

How did you do? Interested in learning more about domestic violence? Check out our website for more information or give us a call at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 2: Information is Power

This week, we’ll be focusing on how information is a powerful tool for survivors, victims and advocates alike. By knowing more about domestic violence, we’ll be able to identify it when we see it in our homes and communities, and we will know what options are available for those involved.

During this week of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, think about what you know about this issue. What questions do you still have? Do you know where to find the answers?

Remember the power you have in sharing what you know to those around you. Online channels like email, Facebook, Twitter and more can be so impactful. You never know who in your network may need to know more about domestic violence.

DVAM Challenge 2: Post one of these messages below as your Facebook status or Tweet it out to your followers.  Don’t want to use social media? Then simply tell someone you love one of these facts below. 

– More than 1 in 3 women & 1 in 4 men in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner (CDC, 2010)

– Intimate Partner Violence can affect health in many ways. The longer the vio­lence goes on, the more serious the effects. (CDC, 2012)

– You have the right to a healthy relationship with a partner who treats you with respect.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

The Hotline Encourages Everyone to Get Involved and Help Raise Awareness During October for National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Today welcomed October, National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, as a chance for everyone  – victims, survivors, advocates, law enforcement, supporters and political leaders – to unite in our work to end abuse.

“We want the public to know The National Domestic Violence Hotline is the only national Hotline in the United States for victims of domestic violence and we are open 24-hours a day, every day for women, men, children and families in danger,” said Katie Ray-Jones, President of the National Domestic Violence Hotline.  “We also want to take this opportunity in October to raise awareness about The Hotline and get more people across the country involved in creating change.”

Throughout October, communities across the country will celebrate the tremendous progress victim advocates have made over the years, mourn for those whose lives were taken by domestic violence and connect with one another with a true sense of unity to end domestic violence.

We also want to empower everyone to get involved and help raise awareness about domestic violence.  We recognize the power that each one of us has in making a difference for someone. At The Hotline, every call is a chance for healing and change.

This year we’re launching a special DVAM campaign that EVERYONE can be involved in.  For 20 days in October, we’ve developed special challenges.  We want you to complete these challenges and share your achievement with us.  By taking our daily challenges, you’re saying that TODAY you are taking a step towards ending domestic violence.

We will be using a blog and our Facebook/Twitter accounts as we go through this month.  Every Friday starting on October 12, we will dedicate our blog to celebrating what our users are doing in their own communities.

One in four women will be the victim of domestic violence at some point in her lifetime, and, on average, three women are killed every day at the hands of a current or former intimate partner.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Will You Commit to Our DVAM Challenges?

October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s a chance for everyone in the movement – victims, survivors, advocates, law enforcement, supporters and politicians – to unite in our work to end abuse.

Working to end domestic violence is a daunting task. There are times where it seems like we’re trying to achieve the impossible. How can we successfully empower everyone to have a healthy relationship? While our task can feel overwhelming at times, we keep going. That’s because we recognize the power that each one of us has in making a different for someone. At The Hotline, every call is a chance for healing and change.

This year we’re launching a special DVAM campaign that EVERYONE can be involved in. For 20 days in October, we’ve developed special challenges. We want you to complete these challenges and share your achievement with us. By taking our daily challenges, you’re saying that TODAY you are taking a step towards ending domestic violence.

We will be using this blog and our Facebook/Twitter accounts as we go through this month. Every Friday starting on October 12, we will dedicate our blog to celebrating what our users are doing in their own communities.

Please join us and make this October one of powerful change for you and all who work to end domestic violence.

CHALLENGE 1: Commit to our DVAM challenge. Do one of the following:

– Share a link to this blog post to someone via email or social media
– Share our challenge image (download here) and encourage your friends to join
– Declare boldy, “I am taking The Hotline DVAM   Challenge!” on Facebook or Twitter

PLEASE NOTE: If you are in an abusive relationship, please do not post anything publicly that might jeopardize your safety.