By: Joni

Joni — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 04:48:05 +0000

20 years ago I fled from my home with my two small children ages 6 and 2. By then, I was in the 10th year of living in constant fear and isolation. While my first husband had a high profile as a respected business owner, usher and Bible Study going member of our church, most of our community and fellow friends and family members did not know that I was being subjected to emotional and at times physical abuse. I had tried to flee many, many times even before the birth of our first born. The cycle of violence was the one constant status that I could always count on. The day after the last scary encounter where he threatened to take the children, and punched holes in the walls and bedroom door, and pulled all the telephone cords out of the wall, we woke up and went to Church just like always as if nothing happened. Later that Sunday, the children and I kept our play date with a friend and her children, and I confided in her about the truth and the incident that happened that night before. My friend helped us by providing a little bit of pocket money and enough emotional support giving me the strength and courage to leave. That day I fled with my two sons, the clothes on our backs, and one favorite toy for each, and a few hundred dollars. We left all our possessions, our friends, our life and livelihood. The one promise that kept me focused on freedom was of God’s love and HIS words that the Lord God would smooth our rough roads to HIS glory. Leaving was the hardest and most dangerous thing I have ever done, and 20 years later I know it was the right thing to do and I can thank my friends and my family for being there for me. I did not know where the grace of God would show up, but HIS grace showed up in my friend who was able to give me a little cash flow to help us flee, and my parents who were willing not to judge me and love me unconditionally and give me a safe dwelling, and then to my high school friend and her family who gave us safe refuge in their home as we began a new life in a new city. Receving from those who were willing and able to help me and my small children was humiliating, but in the end it saved my life and the life of my children. Casting my doubts aside and leaning on the faith in the Lord brought me the greatest light amidst the darkest hours of my life. Today I am living a life of beauty filled with abundance of love, joy, and peace. My sons are both College Graduates with bright futures and are productive giving men in society. I have a wonderful husband who is my life partner, best friend, and soul mate. Thank God for placing angels in my life to help and guide me. Only YOU, the victim can make the decision to leave the abuse, but when the feeling is so compelling and supports keep showing up, you may just need to take a chance and rely on the help from your family and friends. I’m sure glad that I did. God Bless and Keep You and Don’t Give Up!

Comments on: DVAM Challenge, Day 7: Helping a Loved One

By: Joni