Comments on: DVAM Challenge, Day 3: Test Your Knowledge of Domestic Violence http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 Tue, 21 May 2013 15:25:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: vidya http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9395 vidya Sat, 13 Oct 2012 10:40:10 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9395 This is a great quiz. I am an American of South Asian decent and I had a forced marriage. I was forced to go overseas by my parents when I was 18 because they found out I was dating which was unacceptable to them. I lived in India for a few years, going to college there, it was a horrible experience. The teachers and students made fun of me on a daily basis. I was the bad "American" to them. I didn't understand the english they spoke or their culture. My father would not let me return home until I married someone of his choosing. It was horrific. I thought he wasn't serious. He never backed down. I became severely alcoholic and looked for ways to end my life. Nothing worked. I finally married someone my family chose a week after meeting him for the first time. I was exhausted, depressed, and very lonely in an alien country. I desperately wanted to come home. I thought I could convince my family that they were wrong. I tried convincing them for many years. They kept telling me I was the problem, that I couldn't appreciate what they had done for me. I finally left the marriage when I became financially independent and decided that I did not want my children to grow up with these values. I also left the marriage to help other women like me who are struggling to live within forced marriages all over the United States. This was not an arranged marriage. My consent was not given. I have become an advocate today and I am fighting to educate and raise awareness. This is a great quiz. I am an American of South Asian decent and I had a forced marriage. I was forced to go overseas by my parents when I was 18 because they found out I was dating which was unacceptable to them. I lived in India for a few years, going to college there, it was a horrible experience. The teachers and students made fun of me on a daily basis. I was the bad “American” to them. I didn’t understand the english they spoke or their culture. My father would not let me return home until I married someone of his choosing. It was horrific. I thought he wasn’t serious. He never backed down. I became severely alcoholic and looked for ways to end my life. Nothing worked. I finally married someone my family chose a week after meeting him for the first time. I was exhausted, depressed, and very lonely in an alien country. I desperately wanted to come home. I thought I could convince my family that they were wrong. I tried convincing them for many years. They kept telling me I was the problem, that I couldn’t appreciate what they had done for me. I finally left the marriage when I became financially independent and decided that I did not want my children to grow up with these values. I also left the marriage to help other women like me who are struggling to live within forced marriages all over the United States. This was not an arranged marriage. My consent was not given. I have become an advocate today and I am fighting to educate and raise awareness.

]]> By: Kia http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9358 Kia Thu, 11 Oct 2012 17:07:38 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9358 Hello Dear, I have been where you are now. It did turnto him hitting me after I hit ignore on his jokes(verbal abuse) and played deaf. You didn't mention if your daughter is his as well. I can only suggest you leave now. I am not sure if you have a safe haven, a place he will not find you at. If you do, this looks to be the start of something getting worse. Verbal and mental abuse is just as bad. There is NO good or bad abuse abuse is abuse. I will be praying for you. Remember it's better to walk away than to be rolled away. You have a daughter looking up to you. PLEASE believe me when I say she will do what you do. I am 31 with a 16 year-old. She loves the guys who make fast money just like I use to. It was then we lived a nice lifestyle. I didn't have to worry about bills, food or clothes. Just remember he might be able to make it sprinkle I NOW serve a GOD who can make pour down. Faith, is going to be the key in you leaving. Let me be the first to tell you God is real and will provide. Allow God to heal, repair and ,ake you NEW! Much love from one SURVIVOR to another! Hello Dear, I have been where you are now. It did turnto him hitting me after I hit ignore on his jokes(verbal abuse) and played deaf. You didn’t mention if your daughter is his as well. I can only suggest you leave now. I am not sure if you have a safe haven, a place he will not find you at. If you do, this looks to be the start of something getting worse. Verbal and mental abuse is just as bad. There is NO good or bad abuse abuse is abuse. I will be praying for you. Remember it’s better to walk away than to be rolled away.
You have a daughter looking up to you. PLEASE believe me when I say she will do what you do. I am 31 with a 16 year-old. She loves the guys who make fast money just like I use to. It was then we lived a nice lifestyle. I didn’t have to worry about bills, food or clothes. Just remember he might be able to make it sprinkle I NOW serve a GOD who can make pour down.
Faith, is going to be the key in you leaving. Let me be the first to tell you God is real and will provide. Allow God to heal, repair and ,ake you NEW!

Much love from one SURVIVOR to another!

]]> By: Meagan http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9297 Meagan Mon, 08 Oct 2012 23:06:18 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9297 Yes, it's financial and emotional abuse ... I was in a relationship that started that way and quickly escalated to physical. Yes, it’s financial and emotional abuse … I was in a relationship that started that way and quickly escalated to physical.

]]> By: Valerie http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9226 Valerie Thu, 04 Oct 2012 23:18:27 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9226 Yes Yes Yes. I know how hard it is to get out with no money I've been there and I had no support system either because my abuser not only hurt me but threatened to hurt any family members I turned to. Since you have no alone time (I went through that too) it makes it even harder,he picked my friends and monitored my phone calls and if he called while he was working I had to answer by a specified amount of rings. Does this sound familiar? Maybe in the short amount of time you are allowed away from him you could call a domestic violence hotline give them the basics and they can help. Be careful if you are using a cell phone delete the outgoing call,it would be my guess he checks your phone,if not now he will. You need help don't stay in this relationship. Yes Yes Yes. I know how hard it is to get out with no money I’ve been there and I had no support system either because my abuser not only hurt me but threatened to hurt any family members I turned to. Since you have no alone time (I went through that too) it makes it even harder,he picked my friends and monitored my phone calls and if he called while he was working I had to answer by a specified amount of rings. Does this sound familiar? Maybe in the short amount of time you are allowed away from him you could call a domestic violence hotline give them the basics and they can help. Be careful if you are using a cell phone delete the outgoing call,it would be my guess he checks your phone,if not now he will.
You need help don’t stay in this relationship.

]]> By: Nichole http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9220 Nichole Thu, 04 Oct 2012 18:00:04 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9220 I took the quiz, looking at the facts always surprise me. I have been in an abusive relationship, before that I never was taught about Domestic Violence, so never did I think it would happen to me. I wish these facts were taught in High School or even Middle School so at a young age women are taught that love is respect and doesn't hurt. I was lucky enough to have a beautiful son come out of a horrific experience. He is my angel. I am so thankful for organizations such as this one. I took the quiz, looking at the facts always surprise me. I have been in an abusive relationship, before that I never was taught about Domestic Violence, so never did I think it would happen to me. I wish these facts were taught in High School or even Middle School so at a young age women are taught that love is respect and doesn’t hurt. I was lucky enough to have a beautiful son come out of a horrific experience. He is my angel. I am so thankful for organizations such as this one.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_RE http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9219 HotlineAdmin_RE Thu, 04 Oct 2012 16:41:44 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9219 Nichole, Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share what you've been going through. What you're describing sounds like emotional and mental abuse. Just because he hasn't put his hands on you doesn't mean that he's not doing and saying things that are extremely emotionally abusive. Telling you you're crazy or that you're brain doesn't function properly is part of that abuse. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling upset about this or thinking this is not okay. He doesn't have the right to tell you how to feel. There are also things that he's doing that are really controlling. Not allowing you to work or have access to money or resources isn't okay. If you'd like to talk to someone about what's going on, you are welcome to call and speak with an advocate here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are anonymous and confidential and a safe place to talk about it. Please give us a call when you get a safe chance. There may be local resources for safe shelter or other support. HotlineAdvocate_RE Nichole,
Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share what you’ve been going through. What you’re describing sounds like emotional and mental abuse. Just because he hasn’t put his hands on you doesn’t mean that he’s not doing and saying things that are extremely emotionally abusive. Telling you you’re crazy or that you’re brain doesn’t function properly is part of that abuse. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling upset about this or thinking this is not okay. He doesn’t have the right to tell you how to feel. There are also things that he’s doing that are really controlling. Not allowing you to work or have access to money or resources isn’t okay. If you’d like to talk to someone about what’s going on, you are welcome to call and speak with an advocate here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are anonymous and confidential and a safe place to talk about it. Please give us a call when you get a safe chance. There may be local resources for safe shelter or other support.

HotlineAdvocate_RE

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9216 Jennifer Thu, 04 Oct 2012 12:41:59 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9216 It sounds to be an emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive relationship. These are usually the precursors to a physically abusive relationship. Either way, if YOU feel you are being abused, then most likely you are and NOW is the time to seek help by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline, or your local law enforcement agency to ask about resources close to you that may be able to point you in the right direction for getting out. And you are absolutely not crazy for feeling the way you do. Abuse is about Power and Control, and abusers will control your mind by telling you that you are crazy. The more you are told you are crazy (or other negative remarks) the more you will begin to believe false statements. Please, call someone you trust and ask them to help you get the help you need to get out. Good luck. It sounds to be an emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive relationship. These are usually the precursors to a physically abusive relationship. Either way, if YOU feel you are being abused, then most likely you are and NOW is the time to seek help by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline, or your local law enforcement agency to ask about resources close to you that may be able to point you in the right direction for getting out. And you are absolutely not crazy for feeling the way you do. Abuse is about Power and Control, and abusers will control your mind by telling you that you are crazy. The more you are told you are crazy (or other negative remarks) the more you will begin to believe false statements. Please, call someone you trust and ask them to help you get the help you need to get out. Good luck.

]]> By: Nichole http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9208 Nichole Thu, 04 Oct 2012 04:30:03 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9208 I'm in a relationship with a man who doesn't want me to work, yet he won't give me money unless I have something important to take care of; even then its only enough to catch the bus---never enough to feed my 4 year old daughter if I needed to. I've complained about this and it hasn't changed. Recently he has started cracking jokes about how my brain doesn't function properly and when I get upset about it, he tells me I'm too sensitive and he can't joke with me. I wake up in the middle of the night with him stareing at me, its kind of spooky and makes me uncomfortable....I've been in aphysically abusive relationship before, many,many years ago....is my relationship abusive now?? I feel it is and I fear it may get worse. He told me that I make him so mad he just wants to knock the mess out of me....I can't leave because I have no money....what do I do? Am I crazy? Is my relationship abusive without the violence????? I’m in a relationship with a man who doesn’t want me to work, yet he won’t give me money unless I have something important to take care of; even then its only enough to catch the bus—never enough to feed my 4 year old daughter if I needed to. I’ve complained about this and it hasn’t changed. Recently he has started cracking jokes about how my brain doesn’t function properly and when I get upset about it, he tells me I’m too sensitive and he can’t joke with me. I wake up in the middle of the night with him stareing at me, its kind of spooky and makes me uncomfortable….I’ve been in aphysically abusive relationship before, many,many years ago….is my relationship abusive now?? I feel it is and I fear it may get worse. He told me that I make him so mad he just wants to knock the mess out of me….I can’t leave because I have no money….what do I do? Am I crazy? Is my relationship abusive without the violence?????

]]> By: kim http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9207 kim Thu, 04 Oct 2012 03:00:38 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9207 I did well on the quiz. One of my ways of coping with being a victim, now a survivor, was/is education.... I did well on the quiz. One of my ways of coping with being a victim, now a survivor, was/is education….

]]> By: Brenda Powers http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-3-test-your-knowledge-of-domestic-violence/comment-page-1/#comment-9204 Brenda Powers Wed, 03 Oct 2012 20:55:36 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4098#comment-9204 This is a great quiz!. I hope it is okay if I copy it to use in a Domestic Violence class. This is a great quiz!. I hope it is okay if I copy it to use in a Domestic Violence class.

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