Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 3: Test Your Knowledge of Domestic Violence

How much do you know about domestic violence? Take our quiz below as your DVAM challenge #3.

DVAM challenge #3: Answer true or false to the statements below and then continue reading on to see how you did.

1. Domestic violence is not a problem in your community.

2. Couples counseling is recommended by The Hotline for abusive relationships.

3. Sometimes the victim provokes their partner into abusing them.

4. Yelling, putting down or belittling someone isn’t ever considered abuse.

5. On average, more than 3 women are murdered by their partners every day.

6. If the abuse was getting too bad, the victim would just leave.

7. The most dangerous time for a victim is often when their partner first lashes out.

8. Everyone deserves respect in a relationship.

9. If children aren’t being abused and don’t witness the abuse, they aren’t affected.

10. The cost of domestic violence is extremely high to society.

What do you think? How many are true and how many are false? Here’s the key:

1. False. Domestic violence happens in every community. Unfortunately many cases go unreported.

2. False. The Hotline does NOT recommend couple’s counseling when there is abuse in the relationship. It can be very dangerous to the partner being abused. An abuser may use what is said in therapy later against their partner. Individual counseling may be helpful but couple’s counseling is not recommended. Read more here.

3. False. Regardless of their actions, no one deserves to be physically, verbally or sexually abused.

4. False. Domestic violence is the pattern of behavior than an abuser uses to gain and maintain power and control over their partner. It can be physical, verbal or sexual.

5. True. Each year, domestic violence results in an estimated 1,200 deaths and 2 million injuries among women. Furthermore, domestic violence results in nearly 600,000 injuries among men (CDC).

6. False. Many victims love their partners despite the abuse or feel as if they have no support system or resources outside of the relationship and so they feel as if they can’t leave. Furthermore, the period immediately after leaving an abusive relationship is extremely dangerous.

7. False. Domestic violence typically worsens over time. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a victim because their abusive partner feels like they are losing power and control. The abuser may escalate the abuse in order to regain that power and control.

8. True. Absolutely no one deserves to be abused and there is no excuse for being physically, verbally or sexually violent toward a partner.

9. False. Children are extremely perceptive. Even if they don’t see the abuse happening, they feel its effects.

10. True. Each year, domestic violence costs more than $5.8 billion dollars, with $4.1 billion of that amount being spent directly on medical and mental health services (NCADV).

How did you do? Interested in learning more about domestic violence? Check out our website for more information or give us a call at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

11 replies
  1. kim says:

    I did well on the quiz. One of my ways of coping with being a victim, now a survivor, was/is education….

  2. Nichole says:

    I’m in a relationship with a man who doesn’t want me to work, yet he won’t give me money unless I have something important to take care of; even then its only enough to catch the bus—never enough to feed my 4 year old daughter if I needed to. I’ve complained about this and it hasn’t changed. Recently he has started cracking jokes about how my brain doesn’t function properly and when I get upset about it, he tells me I’m too sensitive and he can’t joke with me. I wake up in the middle of the night with him stareing at me, its kind of spooky and makes me uncomfortable….I’ve been in aphysically abusive relationship before, many,many years ago….is my relationship abusive now?? I feel it is and I fear it may get worse. He told me that I make him so mad he just wants to knock the mess out of me….I can’t leave because I have no money….what do I do? Am I crazy? Is my relationship abusive without the violence?????

    • HotlineAdmin_RE says:

      Nichole,
      Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to share what you’ve been going through. What you’re describing sounds like emotional and mental abuse. Just because he hasn’t put his hands on you doesn’t mean that he’s not doing and saying things that are extremely emotionally abusive. Telling you you’re crazy or that you’re brain doesn’t function properly is part of that abuse. There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling upset about this or thinking this is not okay. He doesn’t have the right to tell you how to feel. There are also things that he’s doing that are really controlling. Not allowing you to work or have access to money or resources isn’t okay. If you’d like to talk to someone about what’s going on, you are welcome to call and speak with an advocate here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are anonymous and confidential and a safe place to talk about it. Please give us a call when you get a safe chance. There may be local resources for safe shelter or other support.

      HotlineAdvocate_RE

  3. Jennifer says:

    It sounds to be an emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive relationship. These are usually the precursors to a physically abusive relationship. Either way, if YOU feel you are being abused, then most likely you are and NOW is the time to seek help by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline, or your local law enforcement agency to ask about resources close to you that may be able to point you in the right direction for getting out. And you are absolutely not crazy for feeling the way you do. Abuse is about Power and Control, and abusers will control your mind by telling you that you are crazy. The more you are told you are crazy (or other negative remarks) the more you will begin to believe false statements. Please, call someone you trust and ask them to help you get the help you need to get out. Good luck.

  4. Nichole says:

    I took the quiz, looking at the facts always surprise me. I have been in an abusive relationship, before that I never was taught about Domestic Violence, so never did I think it would happen to me. I wish these facts were taught in High School or even Middle School so at a young age women are taught that love is respect and doesn’t hurt. I was lucky enough to have a beautiful son come out of a horrific experience. He is my angel. I am so thankful for organizations such as this one.

  5. Valerie says:

    Yes Yes Yes. I know how hard it is to get out with no money I’ve been there and I had no support system either because my abuser not only hurt me but threatened to hurt any family members I turned to. Since you have no alone time (I went through that too) it makes it even harder,he picked my friends and monitored my phone calls and if he called while he was working I had to answer by a specified amount of rings. Does this sound familiar? Maybe in the short amount of time you are allowed away from him you could call a domestic violence hotline give them the basics and they can help. Be careful if you are using a cell phone delete the outgoing call,it would be my guess he checks your phone,if not now he will.
    You need help don’t stay in this relationship.

  6. Meagan says:

    Yes, it’s financial and emotional abuse … I was in a relationship that started that way and quickly escalated to physical.

  7. Kia says:

    Hello Dear, I have been where you are now. It did turnto him hitting me after I hit ignore on his jokes(verbal abuse) and played deaf. You didn’t mention if your daughter is his as well. I can only suggest you leave now. I am not sure if you have a safe haven, a place he will not find you at. If you do, this looks to be the start of something getting worse. Verbal and mental abuse is just as bad. There is NO good or bad abuse abuse is abuse. I will be praying for you. Remember it’s better to walk away than to be rolled away.
    You have a daughter looking up to you. PLEASE believe me when I say she will do what you do. I am 31 with a 16 year-old. She loves the guys who make fast money just like I use to. It was then we lived a nice lifestyle. I didn’t have to worry about bills, food or clothes. Just remember he might be able to make it sprinkle I NOW serve a GOD who can make pour down.
    Faith, is going to be the key in you leaving. Let me be the first to tell you God is real and will provide. Allow God to heal, repair and ,ake you NEW!

    Much love from one SURVIVOR to another!

  8. vidya says:

    This is a great quiz. I am an American of South Asian decent and I had a forced marriage. I was forced to go overseas by my parents when I was 18 because they found out I was dating which was unacceptable to them. I lived in India for a few years, going to college there, it was a horrible experience. The teachers and students made fun of me on a daily basis. I was the bad “American” to them. I didn’t understand the english they spoke or their culture. My father would not let me return home until I married someone of his choosing. It was horrific. I thought he wasn’t serious. He never backed down. I became severely alcoholic and looked for ways to end my life. Nothing worked. I finally married someone my family chose a week after meeting him for the first time. I was exhausted, depressed, and very lonely in an alien country. I desperately wanted to come home. I thought I could convince my family that they were wrong. I tried convincing them for many years. They kept telling me I was the problem, that I couldn’t appreciate what they had done for me. I finally left the marriage when I became financially independent and decided that I did not want my children to grow up with these values. I also left the marriage to help other women like me who are struggling to live within forced marriages all over the United States. This was not an arranged marriage. My consent was not given. I have become an advocate today and I am fighting to educate and raise awareness.

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