Comments on: DVAM Challenge 18, Evaluate Your Relationship http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 02:59:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: Laura http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16763 Laura Sat, 05 Jan 2013 04:51:22 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16763 Thank you for sharing your story ...almost a complete reflection of my own. I have not completely left yet; but know I have too. I am devastated, embarrassed, alone, broke, lost and a emotional wreck. But, I am not hopeless or helpless so, I know I can let go..move on and get my life and soul back.. So, I thank you for your story I needed to hear it. Thank you for sharing your story …almost a complete reflection of my own. I have not completely left yet; but know I have too. I am devastated, embarrassed, alone, broke, lost and a emotional wreck. But, I am not hopeless or helpless so, I know I can let go..move on and get my life and soul back.. So, I thank you for your story I needed to hear it.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_CO http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16748 HotlineAdmin_CO Fri, 04 Jan 2013 04:27:32 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16748 Hello Valerie, Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. It is wonderful to know that you are doing well now and are happy. Hello Valerie,

Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. It is wonderful to know that you are doing well now and are happy.

]]> By: Valerie http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16745 Valerie Thu, 03 Jan 2013 16:49:45 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16745 Dear Yuliana, I was you. I had a baby 9 1/2 months after I married my prince. She is 14 years old now and strong, but I am still growing and still need my community. He lied about everything, stole my good credit, charged over $40K in 3 years, I had a great job, he told me I was fat, ugly, stupid...When my girl was 4 1/2 I finally divorced him, his MOTHER paid for him to have a great lawyer and they took me to the cleaners, yet I have persisted. Now I have a great job again, I'm taking care of myself, back to writing and creating art in my free time. My home is quiet and clean, the bills are paid, no one can hurt me. I'm not lonely, I have pets, a bird and two small dogs, we have fun and we are free. Love, Valerie Dear Yuliana,
I was you. I had a baby 9 1/2 months after I married my prince. She is 14 years old now and strong, but I am still growing and still need my community.
He lied about everything, stole my good credit, charged over $40K in 3 years, I had a great job, he told me I was fat, ugly, stupid…When my girl was 4 1/2 I finally divorced him, his MOTHER paid for him to have a great lawyer and they took me to the cleaners, yet I have persisted. Now I have a great job again, I’m taking care of myself, back to writing and creating art in my free time. My home is quiet and clean, the bills are paid, no one can hurt me. I’m not lonely, I have pets, a bird and two small dogs, we have fun and we are free. Love,
Valerie

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_MB http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16726 HotlineAdmin_MB Tue, 01 Jan 2013 04:35:20 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16726 Andrea, Thank you for reaching out through the Share Your Voice Blog community. It takes a lot of strength and courage to voice what is happening and to decide you deserve better, for you and your daughter. It can feel overwhelming to figure out what steps are necessary to get you both into a healthier environment. Advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 if you would like to talk to someone about what those first steps look like and what options are available to you. I hope you are listening to your own encouraging words, "I wish all of you strength and true happiness." Hotlineadvocate_MB Andrea,

Thank you for reaching out through the Share Your Voice Blog community. It takes a lot of strength and courage to voice what is happening and to decide you deserve better, for you and your daughter. It can feel overwhelming to figure out what steps are necessary to get you both into a healthier environment. Advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 if you would like to talk to someone about what those first steps look like and what options are available to you. I hope you are listening to your own encouraging words, “I wish all of you strength and true happiness.”

Hotlineadvocate_MB

]]> By: Andrea fink http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16722 Andrea fink Mon, 31 Dec 2012 16:55:11 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16722 Hello, I read these stories and tears roll down my face. I wish I had a house big enough to help victims of domestic violence. I'm deciding after almost four years of verbal abuse that I am done. One argument in front of a child is too many. I don't want my daughter who is 13 to ever think its okay to be humiliated . I'm scared and don't know where to start. I woke up today and I'm taking a deep breath. I also have kept this from my friends. A few family members know but not the extent. I will keep you posted on my progress. I wish all of you strength and true happiness. Hello, I read these stories and tears roll down my face. I wish I had a house big enough to help victims of domestic violence. I’m deciding after almost four years of verbal abuse that I am done. One argument in front of a child is too many. I don’t want my daughter who is 13 to ever think its okay to be humiliated . I’m scared and don’t know where to start. I woke up today and I’m taking a deep breath. I also have kept this from my friends. A few family members know but not the extent. I will keep you posted on my progress. I wish all of you strength and true happiness.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_KK http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16641 HotlineAdmin_KK Sat, 22 Dec 2012 08:54:07 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16641 Marilyn, Thank you so much for your words and sharing your experience with your daughter. I can only imagine how important and wonderful your support is to her, and apperciate all the wonderful words you shared with her and our readers. You're right, love shouldn't hurt. We'll be here anytime your daughter wants to reach out, and from there on out too. If you would like to call, we're here for you too. Anytime, at 1-800-799-7233. HotlineAdvocate_KK Marilyn,
Thank you so much for your words and sharing your experience with your daughter. I can only imagine how important and wonderful your support is to her, and apperciate all the wonderful words you shared with her and our readers. You’re right, love shouldn’t hurt. We’ll be here anytime your daughter wants to reach out, and from there on out too. If you would like to call, we’re here for you too. Anytime, at 1-800-799-7233.

HotlineAdvocate_KK

]]> By: Marilyn http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16629 Marilyn Fri, 21 Dec 2012 08:02:59 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16629 I made a mistake in my message. I'm proud of my daughter for leaving and coming home. I meant to say I NEVER LIKED HIM,I saw something when I 1st met him and later was told some very disturbing things that I brought to my daughters attention but she brushed it off as Mom you're too hard only I saw what she didn't and my heart hurts to see her having go through this at a young age of 22 when you should be enjoying your youth not being in fear of a man who claims to love you but constantly hits,choked bat in the mouth and talks down too. Dats not love thats manipulation and control of a weak individual who threaten you too keep you there incapable of REAL LOVE. I made a mistake in my message. I’m proud of my daughter for leaving and coming home. I meant to say I NEVER LIKED HIM,I saw something when I 1st met him and later was told some very disturbing things that I brought to my daughters attention but she brushed it off as Mom you’re too hard only I saw what she didn’t and my heart hurts to see her having go through this at a young age of 22 when you should be enjoying your youth not being in fear of a man who claims to love you but constantly hits,choked bat in the mouth and talks down too. Dats not love thats manipulation and control of a weak individual who threaten you too keep you there incapable of REAL LOVE.

]]> By: Marilyn http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16628 Marilyn Fri, 21 Dec 2012 07:52:55 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16628 Hi, to all the ladies out there who had the courage to leave and those who will leave. My daughter who I love with all my heart recently came home after being in a abusive relationship. I somewhat don't understand I guess cause I was never in a abusive relationship. I know for my daughter the 1st step is leaving and I tell her I'm proid of her for that. She does not wanna press charges or report a restraing order. I guess she still has fear cause he calls, text and make threats. I didn't live in the same city as she did when this was going on but God saw fit to move me back and when he did I discovered this. I liked him the 1st time I met him and made my feelings VERY CLEAR! I'm in my daughter corner and told her this as tears rolled down my face. No one needs to suffer any abuse. I told her REAL LOVE NEVER HURTS, the only time your mate should raise his hands is to put them around you to HUG YOU NOT HIT AND HURT YOU! All that reads this please pray for my daughter to get strength to call the crisis hotline to get help on the way back to healing so she can experience a healthy relationship.I hope she calls the hotline soon I know I can't force or push her too she only 22 to have experience this terrible event in life she a beautiful,caring very sensitive to others needs and affectionate always huggin and kissing me since she was a little girl. Until she makes the call,Thank you all for reading this and BE STRONG and lets make 2013 a even better year. Mine already is my daughter is home where she's love and not hurt. Peace Hi, to all the ladies out there who had the courage to leave and those who will leave. My daughter who I love with all my heart recently came home after being in a abusive relationship. I somewhat don’t understand I guess cause I was never in a abusive relationship. I know for my daughter the 1st step is leaving and I tell her I’m proid of her for that. She does not wanna press charges or report a restraing order. I guess she still has fear cause he calls, text and make threats. I didn’t live in the same city as she did when this was going on but God saw fit to move me back and when he did I discovered this. I liked him the 1st time I met him and made my feelings VERY CLEAR! I’m in my daughter corner and told her this as tears rolled down my face. No one needs to suffer any abuse. I told her REAL LOVE NEVER HURTS, the only time your mate should raise his hands is to put them around you to HUG YOU NOT HIT AND HURT YOU! All that reads this please pray for my daughter to get strength to call the crisis hotline to get help on the way back to healing so she can experience a healthy relationship.I hope she calls the hotline soon I know I can’t force or push her too she only 22 to have experience this terrible event in life she a beautiful,caring very sensitive to others needs and affectionate always huggin and kissing me since she was a little girl. Until she makes the call,Thank you all for reading this and BE STRONG and lets make 2013 a even better year. Mine already is my daughter is home where she’s love and not hurt. Peace

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_VW http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16215 HotlineAdmin_VW Wed, 21 Nov 2012 22:32:05 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16215 Dear Deborah, Sounds like the end of 2012 is going to be filled with complications for you. But, just maybe, that means 2013 will be a truly peaceful beginning for you and your family. If you have not left yet, we might be able to do some safety planning with you. Here we talk about "exiting safely" and "landing safetly". Many callers find it to be helpful and increases their chances of successfully staying out of abuse. But planning does take more then one conversation. We here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline would like help. For an anonymous and confidential conversation, pleas call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, we're here 24 hours a day, everyday. Dear Deborah, Sounds like the end of 2012 is going to be filled with complications for you. But, just maybe, that means 2013 will be a truly peaceful beginning for you and your family. If you have not left yet, we might be able to do some safety planning with you. Here we talk about “exiting safely” and “landing safetly”. Many callers find it to be helpful and increases their chances of successfully staying out of abuse. But planning does take more then one conversation. We here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline would like help. For an anonymous and confidential conversation, pleas call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, we’re here 24 hours a day, everyday.

]]> By: Deborah http://www.thehotline.org/2012/10/dvam-challenge-18-evaluate-your-relationship/comment-page-1/#comment-16212 Deborah Wed, 21 Nov 2012 18:03:45 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=4346#comment-16212 Hi all. I need some advice. I have been in an abusive marriage for almost 5 yrs. that has included hitting, verbal abuse and have been raped several times. What finally made me say enough was that my husband punched me in the face the other day( even though he swears he didn't "my hand just slipped, I didn't punch you, quit over-reacting"). I'm done....I just want to live the rest of my life in peace...even if it means spending the rest of it alone. I've made a decision to seek help at a shelter by haven't left yet because of this dilemma: I am originally from the east coast but moved out to the west coast back in April because I have felt in my soul this is where I belong, however my 13yr old daughter from my 1st marriage(also abusive) stayed on the east coast with my mom to finish the school year, but I have delayed her coming out here because of the abuse that my husband continues to do to me. She is due to fly out here in mid December and I don't know what (if any at all) I should tell her about what is going on. She has seen and heard way to much already in her young life. I just want her to feel safe too. Moving back to the east coast is not an option for me. I just want to raise my daughter to be a strong, independent woman and have us have a normal peaceful life. I also feel bad because we just found out about a month ago that her biological father died unexpectedly(she hadn't seen him since she was 18mos old) and my husband has been the only father figure she has known. Please any advice would be helpful as its tearing me up inside and I don't know what to do. Hi all. I need some advice. I have been in an abusive marriage for almost 5 yrs. that has included hitting, verbal abuse and have been raped several times. What finally made me say enough was that my husband punched me in the face the other day( even though he swears he didn’t “my hand just slipped, I didn’t punch you, quit over-reacting”). I’m done….I just want to live the rest of my life in peace…even if it means spending the rest of it alone. I’ve made a decision to seek help at a shelter by haven’t left yet because of this dilemma: I am originally from the east coast but moved out to the west coast back in April because I have felt in my soul this is where I belong, however my 13yr old daughter from my 1st marriage(also abusive) stayed on the east coast with my mom to finish the school year, but I have delayed her coming out here because of the abuse that my husband continues to do to me. She is due to fly out here in mid December and I don’t know what (if any at all) I should tell her about what is going on.
She has seen and heard way to much already in her young life. I just want her to feel safe too. Moving back to the east coast is not an option for me. I just want to raise my daughter to be a strong, independent woman and have us have a normal peaceful life. I also feel bad because we just found out about a month ago that her biological father died unexpectedly(she hadn’t seen him since she was 18mos old) and my husband has been the only father figure she has known. Please any advice would be helpful as its tearing me up inside and I don’t know what to do.

]]>