Domestic Violence Awareness Month

DVAM Challenge 18: Evaluate Your Relationship

Today marks the start of the final week of Domestic Violence Awareness Month and our challenge is almost finished. Today’s challenge is about checking in with your own relationship. Run through our warning signs and see if you or your partner is exhibiting abusive behaviors. Even if you feel your relationship is healthy, ask yourself — am I respectful of my partner? What can I improve on?

If you find that your relationship is not healthy or is even abusive, remember there are always advocates here at The Hotline who are ready to talk to you 24/7.

Today’s challenge: please share this image and personally reflect on your relationship.

31 replies
  1. Karen says:

    Following is my story. The girl is me and I did not include the wonderful man’s name for his protection although he deserves no protection. I am posting in the hopes that one woman reads this and is inspired enough to leave her situation of abuse.

    Once upon a time there was a young girl; a strong independent girl full of life.
    She found love in a wonderful guy. He was her dream and her prince @.
    He was well regarded by his friends and peers and she respected and adored him.

    Suddenly things began to change. It was the moment she moved into his house and got engaged.

    He took his anger out on her soul behind closed doors. He disrupted her to her core. The girl’s emotions were traumatized by his outbursts. He took her strength until she had no more. She was weak from his verbal assaults. She continuously built him up for that is what he needed but he endlessly broke her down.

    Every time he broke her down she knew she had to go. She deserved so much more. How could this be happening? Everyone knows he is a wonderful guy.

    She remembers how he kept her so afraid; so isolated. It is not so easy for the girl to forget all the abuse he denies and laughs about. His verbal assaults created bruises that will never fade. The bruises on her back from being thrown up against an open linen closet and held there by her neck faded but the bruises of emotional pain and torture remain.

    How can the girl forget the abuse? How can she heal and feel safe for he assured her he would knock her head off and put her in the ground.

    Countless abusive text messages especially when she traveled for work; accusations of betrayal coupled with outrageous jealous outbursts and name calling. He would accuse her of affairs with men and women alike and he often broke up with her over text message.

    Allegations of betrayal when in a foreign city because the girl didn’t know what her dinner plans were when questioned so frequently. How could she not know what her plans were at 3pm in a foreign city? Shenanigans he would cry!

    She knew she would be punished when Southwest canceled her flight home due to the weather. So sick from the abuse she braced herself for what would come. Yes, another break up.

    Christmas Eve her beloved father died. Four days later her son had his tonsils and adenoids removed. During her grieving process and her son’s recovery he broke up with her.

    The girl’s daughter was in the hospital 90 minutes away from home for 10 days. After working all day, traveling 3 hours to visit her sick child in the hospital the girl was exhausted. The wonderful guy broke up with her over text message while visiting her daughter at the hospital. She wasn’t paying enough attention to him he claimed. He didn’t feel close enough to her.

    He often spoke poorly of his friends, colleagues and family members. The girl didn’t understand how he could speak so poorly of the people closest to him. He exhibited intolerance of other races. The girl came to learn that this was due to his low self-worth and outrageous jealous nature. It was his attempt at keeping her isolated and believing nobody was as great as he was.

    With her strength in his possession she found it in her to counter his verbal assaults but she grew sick. She knew she had to leave. She knew she had to leave the wonderful man she couldn’t comprehend did not exist. She came to the painful acknowledgment that the wonderful man was not real; he simply did not exist.

    It was his public image the man regarded and protected at all cost. She became a threat to his image because she experienced his verbal, physical and emotional abuse. She could have told the world he isn’t who he portrays. She was now the enemy.

    Would the world believe the enemy? The broken girl who lost her strength, who lost her independence, who lost her will. Would the world believe that this wonderful man did not exist? She walked away silently and hid her bruises. She did not speak to his world about the demons within him.

    The girl was no angel for at her weakest she reacted to his abuse and taunting. She misbehaved by throwing objects and for this she was punished. The man was not punished.

    He took no accountability. He blamed the girl for every outburst and often times acted as if they didn’t exist. His drinking was her fault. His verbal and physical assaults were her fault. If it wasn’t for her he wouldn’t act this way.

    It was a long journey but the girl took her strength back. She no longer allowed him to have it for it wasn’t his to take. She took her life and independence back; he no longer controlled her. She is at peace and is full of life again. She is at peace.

  2. Tracy says:

    Over the past 34 years I have tried to leave, have left a few times. The control that drives this man, oh he who holds responsibilty for all things and must correct all errors that are ME and MINE, he insured my failure at each leaving. It was overt fiancial abuse and it was covert, his voice in my head. 34 years. Our children are grownm but live at hoe or bounce back and forth between home and attempts to ‘launch’. They have problems which are all my doing and fault and busy being bullied by this man, taking the abuse and surviving it, that I could not see the damage done, oh the wreckage of all these years, the fighting and violence. This is totally absurd but absolutely true. I was 20 years old when I jmet this man, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and a girl with very low eslf-esteem., he was 31 at the time, his first name was ‘Always’, surname, “Right’. It was just in the past two years, seriously, that I realized this man is incredibly, seriously mentally ill. I did not know. Of course, this feeds the compassion beast inside me. I am understanding, and need to be here because this man refuses direct communication or contact with our Autistic son, who on Dad’s invitation and at his taunting, hit the man a year ago. Not hard but the man’s heart is. Anyway, I have been through it now two going on three times this week. The insanity, the name calling, lunging at me (he’s such an old man but scares me still) and being locked out on a frosty evening heading into night..my son let me in but I hardly felt safe. I am 56 years old and I want OUT. I want to live a few years as I know that I can, in peace and in society. He takes my money so I have to find a way once again and I most likely can only take myself but if I promise if I can get a foot out that door I will not return except when I can get my 35 year old son out of here.
    I want to say NO MORE and I want to mean it! I want a life free of ogres, trolls and tyrants (as embodied in this one man).

    • HotlineAdmin_MB says:

      Tracy,

      Thank you for reaching out to our blog community. It takes much courage to decide that you want to leave an abusive partner. I understand that being financially dependent on someone can make the task feel that much more challenging, but you do deserve to live out your years in peace.

      Your children’s struggles are not your fault. Abusive relationships are complex and being economically abused makes it that much more difficult. There are counseling services available not only for the victim of abuse, but for the children impacted as well. If you would like a referral for counseling and to discuss options for leaving you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 for help. I know the way he behaves may seem like a mental disorder, but even if he has been diagnosed with mental health issues, he still does not have the right to hurt you. Mental health disorders do not creat an abusive partner, though it make the situation worse. Thank you for sharing your voice with our blog.

      Hotlineadvocate_MB

  3. Hannah says:

    Hello,
    I am new to this whole thing, and kind of uncomfortable about how to go about getting help. I have been married for 6 years and have been in love with him all 7 years we have known each other. We have our moments, mostly with disciplining our children. I step in if I don’t like the way he goes about it, and vice versa. One particular incident a couple years ago put a wrench in everything, when I went into my daughter’s room to talk to her after being furious with my daughter’s actions. I went in to her room and slammed the door, mostly because I was mad at the situation. He thought I was going to hit her ( I rarely spank her), or so he said, and kicked in the door, while I was talking to her, grabbed me, and as I was cowering, raised a large frying pan over my head and said he was going to hit me, when I was trying to explain I was only talking to her! He didn’t actually hit me, but I was so scared, I snuck away and called 911. He hung the phone up on me, and the cops showed up later without me having to say anything. I denied anything violent, and they took him anyway. We fought to drop the charges, and he had them dropped, and both my daughters were devastated. I felt terrible! He still to this day says it was all my fault, and it is a sore spot in our relationship. Every now and then, we still fight, though not as bad, and he will step in and interfere with my disciplining, which is usually yelling at my daughter for back-talking. He tells me to shut up and makes her feel like she did nothing wrong.
    Most recently, we had one of these episodes, and I walked away saying “you always take her side.” Well, it set him off, and he threw 5 thick plastic clothes hangers at me, leaving a welt on my arm and marks on my back. I was terrified and furious. We talked about it today (it happened just last night) and he said he didn’t realize the hangers hit me, and he just “throws stuff automatically.” He said he was sorry and we need to communicate better with our children. How long should I let this go on? Will he change? I am running out of ideas, and worried this will affect me raising my children. We are also in the middle of him adopting my daughter (another story), and she loves him so much! I don’t want to take his girls away from him (ages 7 and 3). Help!

    • HotlineAdmin_SG says:

      Hannah,

      Thank you so much for sharing with our blog community. It sounds like this has been an overwhelming situation. A few things you mentioned are concerning. What we know about abuse is that it is a pattern of behaviors where one person is trying to gain power and control over the other, and less about those isolated incidents. We also know that everyone is reponsible for their own actions and behaviors. If you would like to talk about what is going on any further I encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. It is completely confidential and anonymous and available 24/7.

      HotlineAdvocate_SG

  4. kaarin edwards says:

    my name is kaaaaarin edwards i aaam pregnant indingint aaand ith an eight year old child that is mine i am alone yet still it seems sisters i have who have survived abuse maybe i ill die or hurt him ifear and then will they believe me alone again i aam here bunched up in myyy shoulders feels as if ive forgotten to breahe i wnt to go i dont know how to staaaaay here itry i do i wwaant to try idddont waaaaaaant this life .

    • HotlineAdmin_AM says:

      Kaarin,
      Thank you for sharing your story with our blog community. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to talk more about your situation. The hotline is available 24/7 and it is confidential and anonymous.

  5. Kelly says:

    This is my story. I am sick. It is so hard to read because I am still in a relationship just like your relationship was. I am having such a hard time leaving because I love him so… He has beaten me,kicked me, spit on me, threatened me.

    • HotlineAdmin_AM says:

      Kelly,
      Thank you for sharing your story with our blog community. Responding to this post is a big step and took a lot of courage. It is completely normal to struggle with leaving and to love him, despite the abuse. Leaving a relationship that is abusive is a very dangerous time- please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 when you are alone and safe to talk. We can talk about ways to stay safe (whether you stay or leave the relationship) and discuss some options. The hotline is available 24/7 and is confidential and anonymous. You are not alone and we are here to support you.

  6. Nancy says:

    I am currently with a man who severly abuses me on all levels and at the point of suicide. I am severly depressed and have no where to turn. Going into a shelter is not an option as I have kids and a good job. My current boyfriend who I have been with abuses me so bad. He stalks me, beats me and strangled and chocked me to the point that I have passed out. He accuses me of cheating everyday and his verbal assaults on me are constant every minute of the hour. He calls me whore, slut, pig, worthless and so many other names. I no longer have a name other than whore. I go to work in anxiety cause he thinks I am having sex with my male coworkers in which he has called and threaten to beat them up at work. There is no reprieve from his abuse. I am severly isolated and when I do get to leave he manipulates the situation and tells lies about me that I went to meet a man and beats me up so I no longer go out for fear of being accused or killed for little things like riding a bike or going to then gym. He threats to kill me or the male coworkers I work for. He blames me for his abuse towards me. He stalks me at work and hides at my employment to check up on me later to tell lies of things that did not happen. He has posted on social media that I have sex with my mentally challenged clients (which is all untrue)and has threatened me to go to the police with his lies. He controls me with fear saying he has a tape of this so called incident that is made up in his sick mind. He tells people vicious gross lies about me saying I am having sex with animals which is sick. I can’t go anywhere without being called 20 times. Constantly if I go anywhere I have to check in every minute and proof and justify my whereabouts. He has a gun so I am afraid of being murdered. My fear level and axiety is way to much to handle. I am at a point of suicide. Local DV centers have been a disappointment cause the day he strangled me I called crying looking for help to get a restraining order and after calling twice I never got a call back. This could have cost me my life and they didn’t care enough to inquire so I lost hope with them. I am truly scared I will kill him out of severe anger or more than likely I will be a statistic to DV cause I will be murdered real soon. He let me know of his intent if I leave by putting a knife to my neck and cutting me. He sexually assaults me everyday 4 or 5 times a day everyday. . I have no right to my body cause if I say no he will accuse me of cheating. I am physically and emotionally drained and at wits end. I lost my soul, I lost me and I am truly scared for my sanity. I have no more coping skills and I am now a pressure cooker ready to explode. The violence is horrific and I feel I have been raped of true happiness. He’s a monster but my options to relocate and move away is not an option. If I am dead anything is better then how I am living. I can’t even go to work in peace cause he starts there. I feel I will be fired. A year ago he called my boss to let them know I am having sex at work to get me fired. He has horrible anger issues and reacts without thinking. Sorry to be so explicit. I have no family or friends so I am truly alone. I need someone to hear my cries so if I should lose my life the world knows what’s happened to me. I am so tired of being judged, defending myself, being called names, being scared every second of the day, tired of tears and being devalued. He does nothing for me except take my money and belittled me with his lies. No where to turn anymore. Even DV centers turned there back on me. I have nothing left. I am truly depressed and sad. Life is not worth living in these conditions. My abuse I told on this forum is a pinch of what I go through everyday. There is a lot more to disgusting and horrific to mention. I need help and fast very fast. No more time left. My life is on the line. Thanks for giving me a voice cause I truly have no one to talk to. Walking alone in fear. Near a nervous breakdown. I need to get out fast! Complete deperation. Thanks. Hurt and scared!

    • HotlineAdmin_CO says:

      Nancy,
      Thank you for sharing your story and I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this. You do not deserve to be treated like this and deserve to be in a safe healthy relationship. It must have taken plenty of courage to write this information. I just want to let you know that we are here 24 hours a day and can safety plan with you. Please call us as soon as you can and are safe to talk. Here is our number: 1-800-799-7233

  7. Ronda says:

    Hi Nancy…

    I’m so sorry to hear that you are going thru all this.. I went thru almost the same thing.. I just got out of my relationship with my girls dad.. and we where together for 12 years.. I too had to call every minute of the day to prove things to him.. he always excused me of having sex with male co workers. If I wasn’t at my desk when he called he would get upset and ask why I didn’t tell him I was leaving me desk. any time I took breaks I had to make him aware of when, where and why I was taking a break.. He also had a gun but he never threaten me with it… thank God.. He is a very sneaky person as well.. Once I went on a job interview and interview with a guy… and I got the job and he told me I wasn’t going to work that job… He called me all types of bitches, whores, sluts you name it he called me it… he beat me in front of my girls.. He held my oldest in his hands and beat me… punch me in my face and beat me with a belt… He excused me of having sex with my father.. my little brother whos 15 friends… he excuse me of having sex with his moms boy friend. If I came out of a building with a guy.. he would think I was talking to him.

    I went thru hell and back, however Nancy you have to do something you have to think of your girls and you last… how do you think they feel to see their mother get treated that way.. My oldest is so happy we and her dad are no longer together.. No one can argue around my 2 year old.. she gets so upset and cries… like crazy… I had to go.. You need to get help go to talk someone.. this is not far to you I’m sure you can do so much better…

  8. orion says:

    I hv been in a abusive relationship past 5 yrs, he pretended to hv a war injury I met him at v.a when I was taking my uncle who is a major to Dr. Well thinking he he has a war injury served in miltary in USAF I was attracted to him,he told me he was staying st Va for rehab, found out it wasn’t injury rehab, that he did serve in USAF reserve on and off for 4 yrs more off then on, he never had head injury, he owes 30 g in child support, put me on food stamps, Medicaid, ect took my credit cards ran up bills stole money cash frm me, beats me, tells people bad things bout me, makes it my fault, broke my pc, I have no phone no access to car even tho I paid for half of it, I won’t hv sex w him because he hurts me, tells me he cheating on me w his ex, tells me he can go hv another 6 kids and wouldn’t pay for them, he has people fooled, I am isolated I live in the country I have medical issues he laughs about to ky face and others but seems sorry in front of doctor, I don’t know how to get out, he makes ads looking for other women on ky bday, mothers day, valentine day, locked me out of my pc that I bought broke 2 screens in 6 its hits me in face tells me to clean up blood, throws objects at my 3 yr old then denies it calls her names cuss names, has forced me to hv sex has forced me to do other things, I’m lost, no one can help me, I can’t even get him to take me to store or get what his in kid needs, I’m in prison. I hv left out allot but it was good to vent.. I hv no one I’m alone. Thank u

    • HotlineAdmin_AB says:

      Orion I am very sorry your going through this. If you can borrow a phone and contact us at The Hotline 1-800-799-7233 we would like to speak with you. We would like to try to assist you with what your experiencing. No one ever deserves to go through this.

  9. Yuliana says:

    Domestic violence?…no, I had promised it would never happen to me. How can a woman not have the courage to leave an abusive man? How could someone EVER tolerate physical or verbal abuse? I had promised to myself that if my partner ever attempted to touch me in any abusive way things would be over at that point!!!…and here I am. Stuck. Yes, I feel stuck. I have a baby who is turning 4 months today, and is peacefully sleeping by my side. How can I walk away and deprive my child from having a family (a nuclear family). How do I face the world and tell everyone that just after one year of being married and having a baby I am now separating.
    He has apologized for slapping me while I was pregnant, and for doing it twice again just a few days ago. His excuses: “I was drunk and did not know what I was doing,” or “YOU trigger me.” Never had I ever been called of sorts of names.
    I feel hurt. I feel broken. I feel lonely. I feel stupid!…I am stuck.
    I did not grow up in a nuclear family, and to this day I don’t know how my father looks like. I was always looking for protection from a man in my very few relationships. I thought I had finally found my everything. A man who was supposed to be my friend, my husband, my protector, my support. But I am afraid of him. I am afraid of “destroying everything” (as he says) if I ever speak out.
    He has agreed to see a psychiatrist who can help him manage his anger (yes, he is a very angry and bitter man). He has suggested that we both seek help from a psychologist (some type of marriage counseling).
    Should I share what is going on between us??…seek help from my mother in law (who loves me just like she loves her own daughter and has always been there to support)? Or should we solve this as a couple (as he suggested) without involving anyone else?

    I feel hurt, and I am afraid things would never work but become worse. Is it possible to just forget the verbal and physical abuse that have hurt your soul? Could I ever trust YOU again?

    My respect to all those women who have the courage to walk away…

    • HotlineAdmin_AB says:

      Yuliana I appreciate your sharing what your going through. You have several very good questions you have posted. If you could contact The Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 we would like to speak with you. Perhaps we could help you to sort out what is going on and develop a plan for you. We do know that couples counseling is often not the best solution for dealing with domestic abuse, when you contact us we can explain further.

  10. Karen Libeson says:

    Yuliana, I am very sorry for your situation. I have forgotten the sting from the physical assaults but not the sting from the verbal and mental abuse I sustained similar to yours. I understand your desire for a nuclear family and you can have that with another man who loves you and is kind, caring and gentle. My opinion is I believe counseling will help but your partner has to go to counseling alone to help himself before your relationship can be repaired and it can take years for an abusive person to accept responsibility for their actions and change.

    I wish you the best and I hope you find the strength to leave and lead a healthy life with your baby. xoxo

    • HotlineAdmin_SG says:

      Karen,

      Thank you for contributing to our blog community. It sounds like you are such a great source of support. Healing looks different for everyone but we know support is one of the most important elements to the process. If you would like to talk about what has happened I encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The hotline is available 24 hours a day and is completely anonymous and confidential.

      HotlineAdvocate_SG

  11. Deborah says:

    Hi all. I need some advice. I have been in an abusive marriage for almost 5 yrs. that has included hitting, verbal abuse and have been raped several times. What finally made me say enough was that my husband punched me in the face the other day( even though he swears he didn’t “my hand just slipped, I didn’t punch you, quit over-reacting”). I’m done….I just want to live the rest of my life in peace…even if it means spending the rest of it alone. I’ve made a decision to seek help at a shelter by haven’t left yet because of this dilemma: I am originally from the east coast but moved out to the west coast back in April because I have felt in my soul this is where I belong, however my 13yr old daughter from my 1st marriage(also abusive) stayed on the east coast with my mom to finish the school year, but I have delayed her coming out here because of the abuse that my husband continues to do to me. She is due to fly out here in mid December and I don’t know what (if any at all) I should tell her about what is going on.
    She has seen and heard way to much already in her young life. I just want her to feel safe too. Moving back to the east coast is not an option for me. I just want to raise my daughter to be a strong, independent woman and have us have a normal peaceful life. I also feel bad because we just found out about a month ago that her biological father died unexpectedly(she hadn’t seen him since she was 18mos old) and my husband has been the only father figure she has known. Please any advice would be helpful as its tearing me up inside and I don’t know what to do.

    • HotlineAdmin_VW says:

      Dear Deborah, Sounds like the end of 2012 is going to be filled with complications for you. But, just maybe, that means 2013 will be a truly peaceful beginning for you and your family. If you have not left yet, we might be able to do some safety planning with you. Here we talk about “exiting safely” and “landing safetly”. Many callers find it to be helpful and increases their chances of successfully staying out of abuse. But planning does take more then one conversation. We here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline would like help. For an anonymous and confidential conversation, pleas call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, we’re here 24 hours a day, everyday.

  12. Marilyn says:

    Hi, to all the ladies out there who had the courage to leave and those who will leave. My daughter who I love with all my heart recently came home after being in a abusive relationship. I somewhat don’t understand I guess cause I was never in a abusive relationship. I know for my daughter the 1st step is leaving and I tell her I’m proid of her for that. She does not wanna press charges or report a restraing order. I guess she still has fear cause he calls, text and make threats. I didn’t live in the same city as she did when this was going on but God saw fit to move me back and when he did I discovered this. I liked him the 1st time I met him and made my feelings VERY CLEAR! I’m in my daughter corner and told her this as tears rolled down my face. No one needs to suffer any abuse. I told her REAL LOVE NEVER HURTS, the only time your mate should raise his hands is to put them around you to HUG YOU NOT HIT AND HURT YOU! All that reads this please pray for my daughter to get strength to call the crisis hotline to get help on the way back to healing so she can experience a healthy relationship.I hope she calls the hotline soon I know I can’t force or push her too she only 22 to have experience this terrible event in life she a beautiful,caring very sensitive to others needs and affectionate always huggin and kissing me since she was a little girl. Until she makes the call,Thank you all for reading this and BE STRONG and lets make 2013 a even better year. Mine already is my daughter is home where she’s love and not hurt. Peace

  13. Marilyn says:

    I made a mistake in my message. I’m proud of my daughter for leaving and coming home. I meant to say I NEVER LIKED HIM,I saw something when I 1st met him and later was told some very disturbing things that I brought to my daughters attention but she brushed it off as Mom you’re too hard only I saw what she didn’t and my heart hurts to see her having go through this at a young age of 22 when you should be enjoying your youth not being in fear of a man who claims to love you but constantly hits,choked bat in the mouth and talks down too. Dats not love thats manipulation and control of a weak individual who threaten you too keep you there incapable of REAL LOVE.

    • HotlineAdmin_KK says:

      Marilyn,
      Thank you so much for your words and sharing your experience with your daughter. I can only imagine how important and wonderful your support is to her, and apperciate all the wonderful words you shared with her and our readers. You’re right, love shouldn’t hurt. We’ll be here anytime your daughter wants to reach out, and from there on out too. If you would like to call, we’re here for you too. Anytime, at 1-800-799-7233.

      HotlineAdvocate_KK

  14. Andrea fink says:

    Hello, I read these stories and tears roll down my face. I wish I had a house big enough to help victims of domestic violence. I’m deciding after almost four years of verbal abuse that I am done. One argument in front of a child is too many. I don’t want my daughter who is 13 to ever think its okay to be humiliated . I’m scared and don’t know where to start. I woke up today and I’m taking a deep breath. I also have kept this from my friends. A few family members know but not the extent. I will keep you posted on my progress. I wish all of you strength and true happiness.

    • HotlineAdmin_MB says:

      Andrea,

      Thank you for reaching out through the Share Your Voice Blog community. It takes a lot of strength and courage to voice what is happening and to decide you deserve better, for you and your daughter. It can feel overwhelming to figure out what steps are necessary to get you both into a healthier environment. Advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 if you would like to talk to someone about what those first steps look like and what options are available to you. I hope you are listening to your own encouraging words, “I wish all of you strength and true happiness.”

      Hotlineadvocate_MB

  15. Valerie says:

    Dear Yuliana,
    I was you. I had a baby 9 1/2 months after I married my prince. She is 14 years old now and strong, but I am still growing and still need my community.
    He lied about everything, stole my good credit, charged over $40K in 3 years, I had a great job, he told me I was fat, ugly, stupid…When my girl was 4 1/2 I finally divorced him, his MOTHER paid for him to have a great lawyer and they took me to the cleaners, yet I have persisted. Now I have a great job again, I’m taking care of myself, back to writing and creating art in my free time. My home is quiet and clean, the bills are paid, no one can hurt me. I’m not lonely, I have pets, a bird and two small dogs, we have fun and we are free. Love,
    Valerie

    • HotlineAdmin_CO says:

      Hello Valerie,

      Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. It is wonderful to know that you are doing well now and are happy.

  16. Laura says:

    Thank you for sharing your story …almost a complete reflection of my own. I have not completely left yet; but know I have too. I am devastated, embarrassed, alone, broke, lost and a emotional wreck. But, I am not hopeless or helpless so, I know I can let go..move on and get my life and soul back.. So, I thank you for your story I needed to hear it.

  17. Garry says:

    I seldom leave responses, but i did some searching and wound up here
    DVAM Challenge 18, Evaluate Your Relationship

  18. HotlineAdmin_MT says:

    Hi Christian,

    We’re glad that you find this post helpful! You can find a lot more great information by exploring our website at thehotline.org , or if you have specific questions or concerns, you’re welcome to contact us 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.

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