National Domestic Violence Hotline Blog

Today on Katie Couric: Dating Abuse

Katie Couric’s talk show Katie is discussing dating abuse on today’s episode airing at 4 p.m. Eastern/3 p.m. Central.

The show will feature survivors of dating abuse and the family of Yeardley Love, who was murdered by her boyfriend in 2010. To find your local time and channel to watch Katie, please click here. To learn more about the One Love Foundation in honor of Yeardley Love, please click here.

Here’s a preview of the show:

9 replies
  1. Shaunda says:

    I’m out of steam. I used to be like The Little Engine That Could but now I have lost my “get up and go.” First off I am homeless. In the past four years I’ve been homeless 3 times, despite being a Veteran, despite owning my own successful business, which was featured twice on a major national network, despite being somewhat a local “celebrity.” Six years ago I was a home & business owner in Texas, but after marrying & moving &later divorcing I am fighting to keep my head up. My self esteem has been stomped into the ground by people I thought loved & cared for me. I don’t know why I can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps & continue on as I have done before. I woke up this morning with a feeling of despair & “not wanting to be here”, by no means do I want to harm myself, but I if I had a magic wand to make myself disappear I would gladly do so. I am a creative, energetic, focused go getter who is now stuck in a rut of helplessness and UGH! I hope that makes sense. Not only am I dealing with being homeless & literally lost, two years ago my son was diagnosed with cancer, I was raped in 2011 & told by a judge that I would have to take a lie detector test to prove it, I lost custody of two of my children whom I was trying to protect from being abused & I spent 12 days in jail after never having a record. I NEED A NEW LIFE or a do-over, to re-invent myself to be the REAL me! Everyone tells me they envy the type of person I am but they don’t know that that person is slowly going away. I can only fight for so long, & I feel the fight in me slipping away. I wonder everyday how to get the pep back in my step, I see a therapist at the VA but I am still not able to talk to & encourage myself to keep on going. I’ve done it before, I can do it again, right? I just don’t know anymore. I’m hurt, weak, and sad. I know that it is a day by day process, I’ve even broken it down to a second by second process, that’s how I make it through the days – sometimes.

    • HotlineAdmin_MB says:

      Shaunda,

      I can hear the strength and courage in the posts you have shared with our blog community. I can tell you are doing all you can to get yourself into a better environment despite the obstacles in your path. I understand the want of a magic wand to fix things. Leaving an abusive relationship, fighting for your children, finding a place to live can be very challenging steps. You mention that you’ve picked yourself up before and I feel you can do it again. I don’t know if you have already reached out to Domestic Violence services in your city, but you can call the Hotline for referrals. I am glad you have found a counselor to help you through the healing process.

      It seems you feel comfortable sharing with others online. There is a website, http://www.cafemom.com, that has support for mothers who have been victims of abuse. Maybe you can reach out for additional support from others who understand what you have been through. You are always welcome to call 1-800-799-7233, the Hotline, for further guidance and support as well. Thank you for reaching out to our blog community.

      We had to remove your last post, per our community guidlines, as it contained too much identifying information.

      Hotlineadvocate_MB

  2. Shaunda says:

    I have not seen my children, ages 6 and 4 for over two months. I live in Pennsylvania and in 2009 my horrible nightmare began. Despite having an equivalent to a Masters degree in Early Childhood Education and Development, my ex husband who is a professor, was granted primary custody, (he hasn’t any experience with children, his mother moved in with him to care for the children.) Due to the fact the judge in the case continuously told everyone, even my attorneys that I was crazy, I was afraid to enforce the ruling set forth in the parent agreement. My ex-husband would force me to have sex with him in order to see the children, which resulted in me having to get a Protection From Abuse Order against him. When my 6 year old told me that he was being punched and slapped by his grandmother, I took my children to a shelter in Texas where I was arrested and spent 12 days in jail, even though I called the judge to tell him where I was and had agreed to return to Pennsylvania. Upon my return I was granted supervised visitation, but I was told by my ex-husband via his attorney that he does not want me to see the children at all. In 2009 when this all started I was afraid that my ex-husband’s goal was to shut me out of our children’s life. My fear has now become a reality. I am heartbroken and saddened and don’t know what to do now. My children were used to me going to their schools and doing activities with them and now I know that they are being brainwashed and put against me, my 6 year old stated that “Dad doesn’t want us to have anything to do with you or your side of the family.” This was shocking but something that I already knew. I have a child from a previous marriage and his father and I have always done what was in the best interest of our child. I wish the court system and my ex-husband would follow the example. Until then, I miss my children so very much and I hope and pray that they don’t forget who I am and that I love them very much.

    • HotlineAdmin_MB says:

      Shaunda,

      It sounds like you are in pain and heartbroken at not being able to be there for your children. It is terrible that when a victim of abuse decides to leave their abusive partner, then the batterer will use the children to continue to hurt the ex. It seems that you did not get the justice you deserved in this situation. You mentioned the grandmother hitting the children, did you report this to child protective services? If you would like to consult with a professional on whether or not to get child protective services involved you can call 24/7 to ChildHelp at 1-800-422-4453.

      Your ex did not have any right to sexually assault you and intimidate you. That must have been a very scary experience. If you would like to talk to someone about that painful experience you can call RAINN 24/7 at 1-800-656-HOPE or call our hotline for counseling services in your area and legal advocates at 1-800-799-7233.

      It takes much courage to reach out and share your story. Thank you for contacting the Share Your Voice Blog.

      Hotlineadvocate_MB

  3. katie says:

    Two years ago I met the guy of my dreams, but something didn’t feel right. Slowly I started to notice his aggressive behavor. I had incredibly low self esteem but was still a very strong independent person. I ignored the small warning signs and moved in with him very quickley. He had been pressuring me to butdisguised it as some kind of concern for. He said he would take care of me and I would be less stressed out.

    Boy how un true that was..
    I spent the next year of my life in a prison. Every move I made watched and critisized. I will never be able to forget taking a shower and feeling my arms and neck for each bruise and tiny little thumb marks. I couldn’t lock the bathroom door, speak to most of my friends, see my family, sleep in peace, or even talk sometimes. I was mentally tortured feeling like I was the one who was crazy.. I had only him to talk to and he convinced me our relationship was “different”. Ya it was different he was strangling me until I almost blacked out ever other day.. but if you look at it like this it might sense, if you are in a purple room but its dark at first.. and as the lights slowly get turned on all you hear for that year is that the wall is blue.. you might think its blue. Finally though I hit a point though where I knew it was wrong. My hair was falling out, I had lost an insane amount of weight and I looked sick. The mental games were killing me.. the sexual abuse is something I still have trouble talking about to this day. But that wasn’t what made me want to leave. It was one instant moment. We had been fighting really badly one night when all of a sudden he grabbed my phone and chucked it at the wall. Boom my phone was broken on the floor in two parts. Then it hit me.. my dad went through so much to get me that phone.. and my family is in so much pain missing me and I’m choosing to be here in a place worse then hell.. I just thought of my sister and niece laughing down the hallway from my empty room and it was over. It took me a few months but one day I finally left. I cut myself off from him emotionally that 3 months until he knew it was just time to let me go. I told my close friends when I got home so they could keep me from going back.. that was a year ago now and I’m doing much better. I have the sweetest boyfriend anyone could ask for. I’m still upset and hurt from what happened.. not a day has gone by since that I haven’t thought about it but I will be ok. He would have ended up killing me if I stayed. We think its easier to stay but its not. It really isnt.

    • HotlineAdmin_RE says:

      Katie,
      Thank you for sharing your story with our blog community. You have been through so much. I am glad to hear you are safely out of that relationship and moving forward in your life. It’s not uncommon when you’ve experienced that kind of physical and emotional violence to be dealing with trauma, even after you are physically away from your ex. There may be counseling services or support groups that you could get involved in to help you heal. If you’d like to talk to someone about what you’ve been through or find local resources for help, you are always welcome to call and speak with an advocate here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline. We are anonymous and confidential, and available 24/7.

      HotlineAdvocate_RE

  4. katie says:

    Thank you. I went to some councling but I feel like I need more to help me get over this feeling of doom I have. I will go. Thank you

  5. sylvie says:

    Just finished watching the end of the show
    One can bring awarenes to abuse women but demande it to stop ? the problem reside in human hearts , we have brought awareness over and over ot it ,We need God to change the heart of the perpretators !

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