Comments on: Teen Mom Recap: Why Doesn’t April Just Leave?

By: HotlineAdmin_RE

HotlineAdmin_RE — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 00:54:32 +0000

Sherri,
Thank you for sharing your story with our blog community. You have been through so much. It sounds like there were reasons why you stayed, which is not unlike people we talk to every day. We know that it is very scary and that there can be many different obstacles to getting away. I am glad to hear that you are doing well, and are safely away from that relationship. A good way to get involved with domestic violence work would be to volunteer with a local program that helps victims and survivors. If that is something you’d be interested in, you are welcome to call and speak with an advocate here at the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Local DV programs oftentimes will offer volunteer trainings or opportunities. Thank you again for your words of encouragement.

HotlineAdvocate_RE

By: HotlineAdmin_RE

HotlineAdmin_RE — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 00:46:01 +0000

Glenda,
Thank you for contacting the Share Your Voice blog. I am really concerned about your safety. No one has the right to put their hands on you, for any reason. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. You mentioned that you are wanting to leave, but are not sure about where it would be safe to relocate to. Many communities have domestic violence shelters to help victims of abuse have a safe place to go, and to figure out next steps and options. If you’d like more information about local services, you are always welcome to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are 24/7 and are anonymous and confidential. An advocate on the Hotline could talk to you about how to get help. If you are thinking about leaving, please keep safety in mind. Trying to leave an abusive partner can be one of the most dangerous times. If you get a safe chance, please give us a call.

HotlineAdvocate_RE

By: sherri

sherri — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:04:52 +0000

I am a survivor of domestic violence. I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years in which i had him arrested twice and after the first time i took him back which was a mistake. Things got worse after taking him back after the first arrest. It took me so long to leave because my family entire family was threatened, so i stayed because i did not want my children or my other family members to be harmed. I believed him when he said he would kill them all. Over the years of this abuse i suffered numerous black eyes, bruised ribs and i was even kicked and punched so hard in the leg that i had severe bruises from my upper thigh down to my calf’s. I could barely walk, my children suffered through this with me and i was terrified every day. During the last year together i was sick and tired of the mess i was in and i just gave up and said to my self if he is going to kill me then so be it but he is going to have to find me first, i refused to let him do it in my own home. That is when i got out. He was arrested and i never looked back. I am in a much better place now and it has been 6 years since i left. I have come a long way since then and i am going to college for criminal justice and i plan on working with women in human trafficking and domestic violence situations to empower women to know that they are worth everything and that they are beautiful and life is worth living.

By: Glenda

Glenda — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:27:11 +0000

I live in fear everyday.. I get yelled at and hit almost everyday. I want to leave so bad but i have no family where i live and idk where is a safe place at where i live. He takes my phone away whenever he yells at me cause i call his mom for help. I dont want to call the cops on him but i know one day i will have to. My daughter dont live with us cause im scared that he will hurt her. i see her every other day. im scared out of my mind.. Its gotten worse everyday, I called his dr asking him why he hasnt been giving him his meds. My family worries that one day they will get a call saying im dead or hurt. I do want to leave him but i dont know. Any info would be nice..

By: HotlineAdmin_MB

HotlineAdmin_MB — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 04:14:01 +0000

Vicki,

It is heartbreaking to know your daughter is being hurt. Choking is a very dangerous act of abuse and no one deserves to be treated that way. It sounds like you have done everything in your power to help her in the past. It is common for a victim to leave and go back to their abusive partner numerous times. Even though you are unable to help with food or money, it is still possible to support her by giving her numbers for resources and even just being there to validate and listen to her. You can call our hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 for referrals in her area for shelter, counseling, and social services (for food stamps, housing, and umemployment help). Or even giving her our number to call and we can offer her guidance and support and help her locate local services.

Thank you for reaching out to our Share Your Voice Blog community.

Hotlineadvocate_MB

By: vicki

vicki — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 00:04:16 +0000

My daughter is currently having a domestic abuse issue. The problem is two-fold however. She is 28 and has no job nor car. She has abused drugs for over 10 years and I have tried my best to help her. This past February she secretly moved out and back to a boyfriend she had been seeing off and on for about 5-6 years. This is my problem. I cannot help her anymore financially. She cannot live with me because i am going to school and living with my parents. She now says they are not working out and he is extremely abusive. Because she has promised so much in the past to me, I can no longer help with a roof or food or money. She hasnt had a job in years. Is there someone that can help her even though she has had problems of drug abuse. I think she is trying to do better in that department but who knows. She says he is using intraveneous drugs too. Today she said he actually held her down burned her with a cigarette and actually choked her so hard she says her adrinaline kicked in and somehow got out of the hold. I told her to call the police but she says they will both go to jail. As a mother I am so torn apart by this situation and I could go on and on with the situations. I dont know what is real and what i should worry about so i just worry. What can I do?

By: HotlineAdmin_RE

HotlineAdmin_RE — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 23:07:51 +0000

Sheila,
Thank you for sharing your story with our Share Your Voice blog community. You’ve been through so much! I am glad to hear you are safely out of that situation and providing hope and services for other victims and surivivors of abuse. I went ahead and removed the name of the program due to safety concerns but we really appreciate you sharing your story with our community.

HotlineAdvocate_RE

By: sheila

sheila — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 19:19:41 +0000

The scariest day of my life was the day I left my abuser….

I am a domestic abuse survivor. My abuser was very violent and a master at controlling me. Over the course of several yrs he broke nearly every major bone in my body. A day that happened could be considered a good day for me since he was very creative with his abuse. He knew no bounds. I once sat in a chair over 48 hrs with a loaded .38 in my mouth. To get even with me for trying to leave he snatched a friend’s 6 yr old boy and held him by one ankle dangling him over a parking lot from the 6th floor.

He was brutal. One time we went for car ride in the country side. We arrived at a lovely place where I was tied to tree in a peach orchard while migrant workers rape me all that saturday afternoon. He was also delighted to make a tidy sum of 200 bucks. The reason…I did not get his laundry done on time. After that he loved threatening me with that punishment. One weekend I lost count at around 80 men. Afterwards he took me to a breakfast and was insulted that I was not hungry. Of course I had set myself up for another stomp fest.

As bad he physically hurt me those broken bones, cuts, burns, and bruises healed faster than the mental scars. The “baby I love you so much” one day and the beatings the next day took it’s toll. I lost my children to protect them from him, my peace of mind was shattered for years and how I did not lose my life I’ll never know. Finally I escaped. I will never forget the fear I felt while making my escape. It was the worst fear I ever felt.

Many yrs later I still remember “evil one”. Even though in the end I won I do not want to forget the lessons I learned. Those lessons made who I am today and have helped me help others.

Now I am founder and director of [a local DV program]. In our small rural community we want every abused woman to know our doors are open and that they are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE….help is out here.

By: HotlineAdmin_RE

HotlineAdmin_RE — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 22:24:10 +0000

E,
Thank you for contacting the Share Your Voice blog. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. It sounds like your husband has been very abusive to you over these past 7 years. As much as he may have been upset about the other relationship, he doesn’t have the right to keep taking it out on you or to berate you constantly for it. You deserve to feel safe and have someone there to support you. One thing to keep in mind, is that if you are thinking about leaving again, it’s important that he not find out that it is happening. It sounds like, before, when you’ve tried to leave, he’s gotten violent or made it really difficult for you. If you’d like to talk to someone about what’s going on, you are always welcome to call and speak with an advocate on the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are available 24/7 and are completely anonymous and confidential. An advocate on the Hotline could look and see what kind of help is available locally. There may be shelter or other help you could access in your community.

HotlineAdvocate_RE

By: E

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 06:12:59 +0000

My situation is so complex and I don’t know what to do. I have been with my bf off and on for 7 years. He has been physical twice, is emotionally and verbally abusive towards me on a daily basis that I have gotten used to it. But it does hurt when he puts me down and doesn’t believe in me. We have two children and he barely spends time with them except maybe an hour or less a day. He does not have a real job but he does work side jobs to pay the bills. I am not working but looking for work currently and I go to school full time. I cheated on him a couple times and he hates me. I know it’s not right but he doesn’t treat me right and I was hoping that this would make him leave but it didn’t. I did try to leave him three times but the first time he choked me, second time he threatened to commit suicide, and third time he got so angry that he threw stuff and broke some stuff. I am scared to leave him. He even threaten to beat any guy that I date if we broke up to a bloody pulp to set an example. He also threatened to sue me for living with him during the times I was a stay at home mom. He says I owe him. I hate him so much but stay for the kids because they love him. All he does is smoke weed and hangout downstairs when he is home. He only comes upstairs to eat and sleep. All I wanted is to have a husband, a dream home, careers, and a happy family life. We live in a one bedroom house with two kids under 5 and everytime I talked to him about making future plans he laughs at me and says I’m stupid for making fantasy goals. And that I am nothing and will never be anything in life. All I am is a whore and a golddigger. But this is a nightmare and I am so depressed and lonely. I don’t know what to do I don’t have a car, job , or a place to go.