LGBTQ Relationships and Abuse
Approximately 23 percent of LGBTQ men and 50 percent of LGBTQ women experience abuse from their intimate partners (VAWNET). This means that members of the LGBTQ community are slightly more likely to experience abuse than straight couples.
Same-sex partners who are abusive and controlling use all the same tactics to gain power & control in relationships as heterosexual abusive partners – physical, sexual, and emotional abuse, financial control, isolation, etc. But same-sex partners who are abusive also reinforce their tactics that maintain power & control with societal factors that compound the complexity a survivor faces in leaving or getting safe in a same-sex relationship.
Same-sex abusive partners use discrimination and rejection to control their partners, and may threaten to ‘out’ them to family members, employers, community members.
• Survivors may experience incredible isolation in LGBTQ relationships that are abusive. Friends or family may have rejected them, distanced themselves or made unsupportive, homophobic statements when the survivor came out or talked about their relationships.
• It may be hard for someone who is LGBTQ to recognize that their relationship is abusive, especially if it is their first time being in a same-sex couple. They may simply think that this is what all same-sex relationships look like because they don’t have the experience to tell them otherwise. This misconception may also be encouraged by their abusive partner.
• Some legal remedies that are available to heterosexual survivors are not available to gay, lesbian, trans or bi survivors. Because some states do not legally recognize same-sex relationships, survivors may be unable to seek protective orders. Same-sex survivors who are immigrants are unable to self-petition under VAWA.
If you are in an unhealthy or dangerous relationship and not sure where you can get support, please don’t hesitate to give us a call. We’re here 24/7 and serve everyone affected by domestic violence.
We can help connect you to local programs, including some, like these, that specifically serve the LGBTQ survivors of partner abuse:
Northwest Network of Bi, Trans, Lesbian, and Gay Survivors of Abuse
Seattle, WA
Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project
Cambridge, MA
The Network la Red
Boston, MA
New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project
New York, NY
This entry was posted on Friday, June 29th, 2012 am30 12:16 am
Categories: Hotline News, same sex relationships
I have violated as a domestic violence attack assault me gunshot my leg disrat my bone for low abdomen and sex drugs insist into me distortion ok my private part by radiation throu the gun shot and shot of abdomen by net within gulf by endocrin system of abdomen net wich send e shot by exhusb jenifer musher and other people who are left anonymous and confidential but abused me thieft my identity stalking me stolen my diploma and use my name for billing Medicare even illegal and not lawfull but violate me and abuse and financial abuse by stolen legislative package from legislative office of new York state and from me stolen my daughter and kid amp and abuse and now new hit make plot as husband new appartm take out from me plus money from bank account from purse cashe fro student loan from credit card and baking email and servises of land line phone cable tvand intern and enter appart when iwas not home and riberty me and put me unconscious to crime and riberty and physically abuse se assault and violate me inter to heart charge my heart big power and made shock on me as musher German ethically and exhusband under drugs involve please help to end crime on me and gossip as musher doing
Berta,
Thank you for contacting our blog. I’m not sure I understand what it is you are sharing about abuse, but if you’d like, you are always welcome to call and talk with someone at the National Domestic Violence Hotline. We are 24/7 and are available at 1-800-799-7233.
HotlineAdvocate_RE
Hi Monique,
We received your post but due to confidentiality and safety concerns, we are not able to keep it up. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help and it sounds like you are in a very scary situation. I’m really glad that you contacted us here. If you can call us at 1-800-799-7233 we can talk with you about the specifics of your situation and help you safety plan and connect with local resources. Advocates are available 24/7 and we are confidential and anonymous. You might consider using a friend’s phone, neighbor’s phone or public phone. You deserve to be safe and so does your family.
Thank you for reaching out to our Share Your Voice Blog community,
HotlineAdvcoate_SS
Me amd my girlfriend got into an arguement,then it got physical, I hurt on accident.she is so abusive to me cause of our past. I feel horrible and depressed. I need help please. I do so much and I feel so hurt
Steven,
Thank you for contacting the Share Your Voice blog. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help. When you get safe chance, I would encourage you to call and speak with an advocate at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, at 1-800-799-7233. We are available 24/7 and are completely anonymous and confidential. An advocate could talk to you about what’s going on in your relationship, and also see what local resources are available for support.
HotlineAdvocate_RE