National Domestic Violence Hotline Awareness

Survey Shows Domestic Violence Services Provided in One Day in the U.S.

In the United States on September 15, 2010, three women were murdered by their intimate partners, 36 babies were born to mothers living in domestic violence shelters and 391 survivors started new jobs. Three men committed suicide – one after murdering his wife, another after a failed attempt to kill his girlfriend, and the third after holding his partner hostage and a standoff with the police. With astonishing numbers such as these, a person can’t help but wonder— how many domestic violence services are used per day in the United States?

A survey recently released by the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV) reveals telling information about the status of domestic violence services in the U.S. NNEDV conducts this study once a year to provide the public with a snapshot of what family violence programs across the U.S. see in their shelters on one particular day. From those programs that participated, the survey shows how many calls local hotlines received, what services programs were able to offer and any needs that went unmet due to a lack of resources.

The study revealed that on September 15, 2010, 91 percent of identified domestic violence programs in the U.S. participated in the 2010 National Census of Domestic Violence Services. During the 24-hour period, domestic violence victim advocates served more than 70,000 adults and children and answered more than 20,000 emergency hotline calls. During the same 24 hours, more than 9,000 requests for services went unmet, largely due to lack of funding.

Though the economy does not cause domestic violence, factors associated with economic uncertainties can increase the severity and frequency of abuse. At the same time, options for survivors to escape can be more limited. More than 80 percent of local domestic violence programs reported an increased demand for their services while nearly the same number reported decreases in funding.

The full results of the National Domestic Violence Counts 2010 are available online at www.nnedv.org/census.

28 replies
    • HotlineAdmin_do
      HotlineAdmin_do says:

      @Fernanda, if you are in need of help, we encourage you to call the Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Advocates are available 24/7 and can help you develop a safety plan and get you connected to local resources for support. All calls to The Hotline are anonymous and confidential. Please call when you get a safe chance to talk.

  1. Tom
    Tom says:

    I have a co-worker who is showing physical signs of being abused; I (we) have talked to her and expressed our concerns. She has stated that she doesn’t want the police involved, even though he smashed her car windshield here at work.

    What can one do to be proactive to a person who does not comprehend they are in a bad relationship or that they are in danger

    The business feels they met policy…. morally, I am not agreeing with their limited actions

  2. NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk
    NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk says:

    Tom:

    The co-worker is lucky to have you (and other coworkers) concerned.

    Don’t know if you remember years ago when a supervisor had, on her calendar, documented the victim’s appearances when she came to work on a calendar in her desk. This became critical to the courts in having some extra admissible evidence of the pattern of behavior of the abuser when the victim was finally ready to call the police and file charges against the abuser.

    Too, many of the places of employment organizations/companies are working proactively to help relocate/transfer the victim to another job location when it is possible; however, that does require the approval of the victim that she does want to leave — and only works when she has really drawn that line in the sand and does not want to return to the abuser’s home any more.

    Sometimes, it may be just that the victim doesn’t realize that she doesn’t necessarily have to call the police in order to get to safety and/or that there are so many resources ready to assist — shelter, support groups, counseling, legal advocacy, and so much more at no charge to her. If you and/or your coworkers can urge her to call the hotline at 1-800-799-7233, an advocate can certainly walk her through many of the possibilities 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week.

    A caveat is to be careful in not becoming too demanding or giving ultimatums to the victim, as then those who do this become sounding no different than perhaps what she is experiencing with the abuser.

    Many employers are also taking a more proactive role in domestic violence awareness, as well, by having an in-service/training about domestic violence, the message can also reach to more coworkers (besides this one) that may be going through a domestic violence situation. Sometimes, for instance, many may not realize that they are even in the beginnings of an unhealthy relationship that can indeed lead to very volatile domestic violence situations.

    For more ideas/suggestions, or answers to more questions, feel free to contact the hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

    NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

  3. SS
    SS says:

    While all these resources are great, my own personal experience has been the court advocates (such as judges, GALs) lack understanding of domestic abuse. Unfortunately my abuser only sporadically used physical abuse and primarily uses psychological and emotional abuse. Disclosures reported to me by the children that have been reported to the appropriate agencies also result in NO ACTION. I have no choice but to follow the visitation agreement or lose custody because the courts continue to ignore documented concerns. The children continue to suffer while exposed to their father. Child Protection Services states that without “physical” evidence they cannot affect visitation. Although they recommend to continue to document because the “timeline” will be helpful in two, three or five years when kids disclose AGAIN. They recommend reporting the concerns to the judge who can affect visitation – I have. Visits continue. It’s been a year and a half since I physically separated (there was a documented incident involving a firearm and a DVPO was granted as a result ) yet I continue to be (re) victimized through the divorce process and by authorities (GAL,lawyers, counselors, etc). I receive no financial support from the other parent. How does one press on in the face of ignorance? Where do you turn when no on listens?

  4. NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk
    NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk says:

    SS:

    Strides are being made in the court system; although, they seem minuscule in comparison to those challenges still yet to be faced. There are many programs and advocates out there to try to change the legal system, aside from the legislators (both on the State level and the National level), and the State Coalitions in each state trying to give a voice to each survivor in the legislative process. Some of these programs and advocates are through (in no particular order)

    Barry Goldstein – http://www.barrygoldstein.net/index.html
    Justice for Children – http://justiceforchildren.org
    Women’s Law – http://womenslaw.org

    and many, many others. If you will call the hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and ask the advocate for a list of some of the other custody resources we have in our database, it will help get you started in becoming a stronger advocate in the court system.

    The only way that the laws can begin to change, consistently, is if we lift up our voices and explain the inconsistencies to the legislators who are the lawmakers in our state and nation. In the meantime, be sure to call the hotline for additional resources.

    NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

  5. Stephanie
    Stephanie says:

    My godchild is in fear of her life. She has been in a verbal and physica abusivel marriage for thirteen years and has finally obtained enough courage to seek legal advice. She has also removed herself from the residence but she fears that her spouse will retaliate and hurt their son too. She was in court to obtain temporary custody of their child when he threaten (with the judge watching and listening) to blow up her and the vechicle. My question is why was he able to leave the court when he made it perfectly obvious that he wanted to harm her? She had ample proof of the abuse that she had endured over the years and was granted a restraing order and custody of her son. She was told by the judge to watch her sourroundings when she is coming and leaving and that it would probably not be a good idea for her to go out at night. Since then she has registered with the House of Ruth (crisis center for the abused) and is receiving support but still there is that fear that he will attack. We are now trying to relocate (out of state) but the process is not swift. He just contacted the son and told him that he will be attending a funeral soon. Please let me know what we can do to expedite this matter.

    Concerned God Mother

    • HotlineAdmin_KL
      HotlineAdmin_KL says:

      Hi Stephanie,

      I can understand why you are so concerned about your godchild. It sounds like she has been through a great deal, and it would only be normal for you to be feeling overwhelmed and scared for her safety. The Legal Resource Center is good resource for interstate custody issues and can advise victims of domestic violence on ways to minimize the issues they may face if they relocate. Their website is http://www.lrcvaw.org/. You might also encourage her to contact an address confidentiality program. An address confidentiality program can help her keep her address safe and out of the hands of her abuser. Our advocates at the hotline are here 24/7 to answer questions and give information about programs like address confidentiality. We can be reached at 1-800-799-7233. Also, it is important to encourage your godchild to report any violation her abuser makes to the restraining order, including contacting her son.
      Take care,
      BlogAdmin_KL

  6. Desi
    Desi says:

    I am getting abused and I have to infants in the house. I am a housewife and am wanting a out but i need advice how to do it and have the courage without the help of anyone

    • NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk
      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk says:

      Desi:

      The best thing to suggest is to call the hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Any advocate answering can help you with shelter, counseling, support groups, legal advocacy and more without any charge to you — children and all. If you can call the hotline at your earliest opportunity, they can help you process things and match up the resources that best fit your needs.

      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

  7. YearningtoEducateSomebody
    YearningtoEducateSomebody says:

    I am writing a paper on DV for school and want to know some information concerning statistics. I know HIV/AIDS does not discriminate and from what I have been reading about DV, it doesn’t discriminate either. However, does a particular race experience violence more than another? Who is most vulnerable to DV?

    • HotlineAdmin_RE
      HotlineAdmin_RE says:

      Yearning,
      You are right, domestic violence does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, or gender. A good place to find statistics on DV is the U.S. Department of Justice’s website @ http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs. They have statistics on victim and offender characteristics. Also, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (www.ncadv.org) has both National and Statewide statistics on DV. They can be found under the ‘Resources’ tab on the site. You are always welcome to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline if you have any questions about domestic violence in general, or about local resources in your area.

      HotlineAdvocate_RE

  8. Student
    Student says:

    Im writing a research essay about domestic abuse as well and I want to know what resources are available for victims and the abusers to fight domestic abuse. like what kinds of counseling programs and services are offered for victims? what is offered for abusers?

    • NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk
      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk says:

      Student:

      Your best bet to find answers to your questions would be to (a) call the hotline and speak to an advocate. As long as we aren’t having a swarm of calls at the time, we are generally able to answer most of your questions that you might have. Also, (b) there is a wealth of information given on this website under the “GET EDUCATED” tab and/or you might find some useful information too on the National Dating Abuse’s website — http://loveisrespect.org.

      That being said, insofar as this particular question:

      * Victims have access to shelters, individual counseling, support groups, legal advocacy, and so many more resources in our database at no charge to them.

      * Many programs in our database also offer counseling resources to the batterers, which are called BIPPs (Battering Intervention Prevention Programs). These generally aren’t offered free of charge, but are offered at nominal fees and vary from program to program in State to State, sometimes even county to county. Notations of fee charges though aren’t included in our database.

      Please let us know, if you have any other questions.

      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

  9. Deb
    Deb says:

    My friend is in an abusive relationship and I don’t know what to do to make her snap out of it. Her boyfriend began abusing her 2 weeks after they met when she could have gotten out of it before he knew where she lived, but she has stayed with him for 3 long years. She says she isn’t afraid to leave him and he has left he before and gone months without speaking to her until she contacts him. I try to be supportive and not sound judgmental, but I don’t know how to make it clear to her that choosing to stay with someone who beats her almost every day is not healthy and that this relationship is ruining her life. She moved in with him a month ago and I am the only person who knows she moved out of her place and in with him because she doesn’t want her family telling her it is a mistake and I am now her only friend because all of her other friends don’t speak to her because some of them were threatened by her boyfriend and she chooses not to speak to the rest because of their criticism and disapproval of her relationship. She used to be confident and outgoing and strong and she hates herself now because of the emotional abuse her boyfriend inflicts on her. I am scared to tell her she needs to leave him because she has cut off the people she feels are too harsh about her choice to be in this relationship, and especially because if she gets angry or hurt and stops talking to me she will have no one in her life who knows where she lives or that she is being abused and no one else will know to check in with her. I am scared for her life an I try to tell her that even though he may not kill her abuse like that can cause permanent effects, but she doesn’t seem as concerned as I am. I don’t know how to help her. She says she wants to get out but she has a place to live for free, she has no children and she doesn’t believe he would come after her so it is hard to believe she wants to get out of this. I don’t know how to really get through and tell her that this relationship is unhealthy and she shouldn’t isolate herself and that there is no future with this man that doesn’t involve abuse. It seems as though she is almost addicted to this relationship. I have only seen her once in the last 3 months because she chooses to spend all her time wih him and she works nights all by herself so she doesn’t get any interaction with anyone but him. After so many people telling her how unhealthy this is, how do I tell her the same thing and tell her I don’t understand why she doesn’t get out without seeming judgmental without pushing her away?

    • NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk
      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk says:

      Deb:

      Be careful. It might not be so much that she is “choosing” to be with him and spend all her time with him; he may be successful in alienating and isolating her from her friends and family. Abusive people can be so very manipulative in that manner.

      One of the last things that would be successful in convincing her to leave is telling her that she has to leave, giving her ultimatiums, etc. because then you, technically, sound no different than him. Then, if given the choice between staying with him who may be making demands on her — or going with friends/family who may be making demands on her — she will be seemingly forced to stay with him since we all have that cinderella dream of life being happily ever after (if only he will change this or that to help improve their lives and/or relationship and/or marriage).

      One of the better options is to take a positive approach when you see her and build up her self-confidence and self-esteem while you are around her (maybe even taking her to have her nails done or have a day of pampering). This will, in turn, give her strength to make her own decision to leave.

      Also, please feel free to give her our number and we can discuss various safety strategies, options availalble to her at no charge to her, etc. We are here at 1-800-799-7233 all day/night (24 hrs a day, 7 days a week).

      You can certainly call us, too, for some additional ideas and suggestions. :)

      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

  10. Mai
    Mai says:

    Dear sir ,

    Today is Sunday May 29,2011 at 9 45 AM. I did call you and ask a Vietnamese interpreter, but I did not hear clearly the interpreter said, so very hard for me.I was very happy if direct hot line to talk to domestic violence, international by individual countries hotline at my local had treated me no good at hiding their house and I was gone.

    So I would like to talk again .Thank you very much . I am expecting a response from you .

    Mai

    • NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk
      NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk says:

      Mai:

      Due to confidentiality reasons (and your own safety reasons), we removed your phone number from your post. It sounds like that you called and may have talked to an advocate who had quickly put you on hold to get an interpretor to connect with you all on the line. Please, I would suggest calling the hotline back at 1-800-799-7233, letting the advocate know immediately that you need a Vietnamese interpretor, and holding on until the Vietnamese interpretor can come on line with you again.

      Due to policy guidelines, we are not allowed to call the people requesting services.

      We look forward to hearing from you again.

      NDVH Hotline Advocate_KK

  11. HELLEN
    HELLEN says:

    i really do have a problem regarding my boyfriend we stated staying together back in 2008 november and one day i was so tired and i told him to serve himself and he really got angry and he hit me so hard ,that day i went and reported the matter to his mother andshe told me to relax that thing will be all right and on that day i slept in his mother place then the following day i went to work and in the evening i went to see my mum i told her want happened and never commented and due to frustration i remember my mum telling my auntie that what happened was good for me and that,s what i deserved and after separation of six month we came back together and i give birth and after one year his telling me that we should have another kid and yet he has not even married me , when i tell him that he should be paying dowry he says i stop pressuring him what do i do please help

    • HotlineAdmin_RE
      HotlineAdmin_RE says:

      Hellen,
      No matter what, your boyfriend has no right to put his hands on you. I’m sure it must have been difficult to reach out to family members for help, and to have them tell you that you deserved it. You don’t, and it’s not okay what he’s doing. There is never any reason for a person to put their hands on someone else. It takes alot to reach out for help and i’m really glad you contacted us on this blog. The internet may not be the safest way to discuss your options, but you are always welcome to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are available 24/7 and are completely anonymous and confidential for your safety. An advocate on the Hotline can talk to you about options and get you connected with local DV programs for assistance. They would also be able to safety plan with you around your safety living in the house. Please do contact us when you get a safe chance.

      HotlineAdvocate_RE

  12. angela
    angela says:

    My sister (Janet) is a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship with her husband. She is a homemaker with 2 sons (ages 14 and 12). She is unable to work due to disability. Our mother and I have only recently found about the abuse a few months ago. Our mother has set up a checking account, safe deposit box, and put a retainer on a divorce lawyer for my sister with her own money. My mother left our physically abusive father 35 years ago. Unfortunately, our father disliked my sister and told her so many times when we were young. This may have set the pattern for her. My sister just took money out of her joint checking account to save money in case of a divorce. My sister is too scared to stay with her abusive husband and too scared to leave due to money and his threats. He is constantly telling her lies about what her life would be like without him ie living on the streets, penniless, etc. What can we do as a family to help her? This situation is affecting my mothers health because my sister is still staying with him and his verbal threats are increasing.

    • HotlineAdmin_KL
      HotlineAdmin_KL says:

      Hi Angela,
      It sounds like the situation with your sister has been very upsetting and frustrating for you and your family. These are normal and common feelings to have when a loved one is invovled in a domestic violence relationship. Other feelings can include helplessness and anger at your loved one, their partner, or for the situation in general. It can tell you and your mom only want what is best for your sister. It sounds like both of you are being supportive to her. Threats from an abuser and lack of money can cause a lot of people to be terrified to leave a domestic violence situation. As a family, I think the best thing you can probably do is to continue to support your sister and provide her with encouragement. It might help to refer her to our hotline or for you or your mom to call us too if you feel comfortable. Our advocates can talk to you about additional ways you can help your sister, and ways you can take care of yourself during this stressful time. Our 24 hour hotline number is 1-800-799-7233, and it is confidential and anonymous.
      Take care,
      NDVH Hotline Advocate-kl

  13. Not My Real Name
    Not My Real Name says:

    So I am worried that I may be an abuser. I grew up in a single parent home where my mother was brain damaged and alchoholic. She was consistantly verbally and emotionally abusive, being extremely critical of all who were around her. Due tue her brain/alchohol problems there was no telling what would set her off or when it would happen. While she has stopped drinking now, she remains unpredictable, highly critical and now easily confused (I think some form of dementia) which only has increased her anger problems. My family is horrible and was allowing my mother to be homeless. I met a man and we moved intogether. After months of having to make long drives to make sure my mother had food, I decided to have her move in with us so that I could make sure she was fed and would not wind up on the streets. I am proud of this descision however it is now destroying my relationship with my partner. I find myself being once again exposed to her abuse I notice that I had started to treat my significant other similarly. It is like a chain of abuse with my poor man taking it from both of us. Recently a situation got so heated that he was screaming at me and I tried to leave. He tried to physically hold me down and stop me from walking out and I struggled to free myself. The tone of his voice along with the fact that he was hurting me caused me to hit/and bite him in order to escape. My mother was also barring the door and i warned her a few times to move, and pushed her when she refused. They both treated me like I was a rampaging maniac and I don’t feel like it is true, but I feel horrible that it happened and want to cry everytime I see the cuts on my boyfriends nose from where I hit him. I think I am at the same time a victim and an abuser and I really would like some help. Are there people who are abusive and want to get help to stop it? While my gut tells me to remove myself from the situation, it is that much more difficult with my mother being involved. I am confused and hurt, I feel lost both in my life and within myself.

    • HotlineAdmin_RE
      HotlineAdmin_RE says:

      Not My Real Name,
      Thank you for reaching out for help in this difficult time. With the incident you’re describing, it sounds like you were scared and trying to defend yourself, not with the intention to hurt him or anyone else. He had no right to put his hands on you in the first place. We define domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behaviors used to gain power and control over a partner. It doesn’t sound like that was your intention in this situation. There are times where a victim may lash out physically, after having dealt with emotional abuse or physical violence, and oftentimes in self-defense. It doesn’t meant that you are abusive. You sound like you are genuinely upset that you hurt him, and there’s something to be said about taking responsibility for your actions and trying to find help so that it doesn’t get to that point again. You are always welcome to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, to talk with an advocate for support. We are completely anonymous and confidential. An advocate could talk with you about accessing local resources for support, and possibly safety plan for what to do if another situation like this arises.

      HotlineAdvocate_RE

  14. Mimi
    Mimi says:

    My daughter has been in a bad relationship for three years, now. She now has a nine month old daughter with this man. There have been physical abuse signs in the past (twice) she denied they were from him. About six months ago he hurt her pretty bad, enough for her to admit to me there was a problem and she still refused to press charges even though she had pictures of the abuse. She did not want to make his family mad, she ended up going back to him about a week later. Last night this man started sending me text messages, I received 20 text messages between 2:44 AM and 8:19 AM I was afraid to call my daughters phone, i just felt that with the way he was texting that one of these text would tell me she was dead… but the text at 5:29 AM said she was in jail… I was happy to know that she was still alive. I have pictures of her abuse this time, but the six male police officers took his side and took her to jail…. any way she now has a pending charge of domestic family assault… this man has the nine month old daughter, the police on his side and she can not find help for herself because of the charge against her. Her court date is in three weeks. This man is a product of the system, he has been in prison for murder, and this is my daughters very first arrest. Is there anyone out there that understands she is still the victim?

    • HotlineAdmin_RE
      HotlineAdmin_RE says:

      Mimi,
      Thank you for contacting the Share Your Voice blog and sharing your story with our blog community. We definitely understand that your daughter has been the victim of domestic violence, not the perpetrator. Oftentimes, an abuser will turn the situation around on their partner, and manipulate the system in order to maintain power in the situation. With the police on his side, he was able to put your daughter in a really difficult spot. It sounds like you have documentation of the abuse that your daughter has been through. That could be really important in this case where he is claiming that she’s been abusive towards him. It’s a complicated situation that would be difficult to address within the context of this blog. I encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are available 24/7 and are completely anonymous and confidential. An advocate on the Hotline would be able to talk with you about accessing local resources for DV assistance and see if there are any helpful legal referrals in our database.

      HotlineAdvocate_RE

  15. jo
    jo says:

    Why. Do all people say thers help and support out there when there’s clearly not. I was abused by my ex partner for 24yrs nothing was done to help was sexually assulted by him after I moved out. Suprise he got away with it. I had to move again finding my own deposits and rent for my propertys council wouldn’t help me now he’s found out were I live got to move again. Because he hasn’t. Done any thing to me. No one can help me. No one realy cares what happens to you. Only when he’s hurt me real bad or pushed a knife through me. People will help when its to late or will they

    • ssnyder
      ssnyder says:

      Jo,

      Thank you for contacting the Share Your Voice blog. I can understand why you would feel frustrated with the system as it sounds like you have not gotten the support that you deserve. If you need to talk to someone about options, you are welcome to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We are available 24/7. We care and we want to help support you.

      HotlineAdvocate_SS

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