Comments on: 1 in 4 Callers surveyed at the Hotline Report Birth Control Sabotage and Pregnancy Coercion http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 Fri, 24 May 2013 05:12:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.2 By: chodgins http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-2000 chodgins Fri, 09 Sep 2011 12:40:47 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-2000 Hi Jhen, Thank you for sharing your story with the hotline community. It sounds like you're going through a very difficult time. Please feel free to contact the hotline to discuss your situation further (800-799-7233). Advocates are available 27 hours a day, 7 days a week. Immigration status is often a tool used by abusers to intimidate victims into feeling trapped, but you do have rights. Hotline advocates can help you locate resources that may be able to give you some legal guidance. HotlineAdvocate_chodgins Hi Jhen,
Thank you for sharing your story with the hotline community. It sounds like you’re going through a very difficult time. Please feel free to contact the hotline to discuss your situation further (800-799-7233). Advocates are available 27 hours a day, 7 days a week. Immigration status is often a tool used by abusers to intimidate victims into feeling trapped, but you do have rights. Hotline advocates can help you locate resources that may be able to give you some legal guidance.

HotlineAdvocate_chodgins

]]> By: Jhen-afterstroke http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1998 Jhen-afterstroke Fri, 09 Sep 2011 11:46:00 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1998 After suffering a stroke and and trying to deal with it, my wife kick me out away from my new 3 months baby. treating to use my illegal status to do whatever needed, even againt the baby wellfare, to keep me away. All after I told her about a errectal deisfuction problem. She refused counseling for Post-partum, anuther man; all she wanted was the inmediate after a10 relationship . After suffering a stroke and and trying to deal with it, my wife kick me out away from my new 3 months baby. treating to use my illegal status to do whatever needed, even againt the baby wellfare, to keep me away. All after I told her about a errectal deisfuction problem. She refused counseling for Post-partum, anuther man; all she wanted was the inmediate after a10 relationship .

]]> By: Jhen-afterstroke http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1997 Jhen-afterstroke Fri, 09 Sep 2011 11:28:10 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1997 I dont know what to do, I dont know if I am the abser or she is, but now our baby is in between. I dont know what to do, I dont know if I am the abser or she is, but now our baby is in between.

]]> By: ssnyder http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1993 ssnyder Tue, 06 Sep 2011 21:53:57 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1993 Hi Magdalena, Thank you for coming to share your story with our blog community. Your son does deserve support, as do you. Unfortunately, personal email addresses cannot be posted for safety reasons. (Please see our community guidelines.) Please feel free to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, anytime, 24 hours a day for support around this issue. If your son has a safe time to call, we can also provide him with support and local resources. Your son is lucky to have a mother who is concerned about him and who wants to support him. HotlineAdvocate_SS Hi Magdalena,
Thank you for coming to share your story with our blog community. Your son does deserve support, as do you. Unfortunately, personal email addresses cannot be posted for safety reasons. (Please see our community guidelines.) Please feel free to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, anytime, 24 hours a day for support around this issue. If your son has a safe time to call, we can also provide him with support and local resources. Your son is lucky to have a mother who is concerned about him and who wants to support him.

HotlineAdvocate_SS

]]> By: Magdalena http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1990 Magdalena Mon, 05 Sep 2011 10:04:52 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1990 My son live a similar situation, his wife screaming at him all the times, even in front of their children,and I think he get phisical abuse (he denies) he clean the house, feed the kids, he is the only one works and provide for his family, now she is putting presion on him because she want other child. He tries to leave her several times, but he loves his children to much. As a mother I can not do anything. My son live a similar situation, his wife screaming at him all the times, even in front of their children,and I think he get phisical abuse (he denies) he clean the house, feed the kids, he is the only one works and provide for his family, now she is putting presion on him because she want other child. He tries to leave her several times, but he loves his children to much. As a mother I can not do anything.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_RE http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1793 HotlineAdmin_RE Tue, 31 May 2011 21:03:46 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1793 Mae, Thank you for your comments. Reproductive coercion in domestic violence relationships is a topic that has recently garnered alot of attention. Hopefully this information and the Hotline's focus study, brings awareness to an issue that is effecting both men and women everyday. We're glad you found it interesting. If you would like to know more, you can check out http://www.knowmoresaymore.org/, which is Futures Without Violence's (formerly the Family Violence Prevention Fund) awareness campaign around reproductive coercion and dv. HotlineAdvocate_RE Mae,
Thank you for your comments. Reproductive coercion in domestic violence relationships is a topic that has recently garnered alot of attention. Hopefully this information and the Hotline’s focus study, brings awareness to an issue that is effecting both men and women everyday. We’re glad you found it interesting. If you would like to know more, you can check out http://www.knowmoresaymore.org/, which is Futures Without Violence’s (formerly the Family Violence Prevention Fund) awareness campaign around reproductive coercion and dv.

HotlineAdvocate_RE

]]> By: Mae http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1791 Mae Tue, 31 May 2011 07:12:47 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1791 Wow, just came across this page looking for help for a friend. I really enjoyed reading this article because more often you hear about domestic violence situations where the male will threaten the female if she does get pregnant and force an abortion (a situation I was in). However, I never really thought about an opposite situation. Which must be horrible to have a child to raise that you want to love and protect, but brings up terrible memories. I would assume thatt a lot of times the abusive person will raise the child to be the same way. I have also never thought about the genders being flipped as Dave's situation (above) many women try to trap good men, my heart goes out to these people! Thank you for opening my eyes today ;) Wow, just came across this page looking for help for a friend. I really enjoyed reading this article because more often you hear about domestic violence situations where the male will threaten the female if she does get pregnant and force an abortion (a situation I was in). However, I never really thought about an opposite situation. Which must be horrible to have a child to raise that you want to love and protect, but brings up terrible memories. I would assume thatt a lot of times the abusive person will raise the child to be the same way. I have also never thought about the genders being flipped as Dave’s situation (above) many women try to trap good men, my heart goes out to these people! Thank you for opening my eyes today ;)

]]> By: NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1741 NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk Wed, 18 May 2011 03:31:20 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1741 Victoria: Thank you for sharing your opinion about the article. We appreciate any and all feedback. When we at the hotline started to conduct the survey with the callers, we were a bit taken back too because it is such a taboo subject matter to talk about and we weren't really sure how the response was going to be when we asked questions about pregnancy coercion, etc. We often found that more of the callers were quite open to discuss the subject matter than we had intially anticipated. We were taken back too by the number of callers expressing that their partner (either in a dating or marriage role) was coercing them to become pregnant. That was the focus of this particular study outlined in this article. The coercsion was oftentimes to trap the victim into the relationship so that they could continue to have power and control over the victim, among other reasons. I'm sure that there will be other focus studies in the future to determine of those who were pregnant in an abusive relationship (coerced into the pregnancy or not), how many of those were encouraged to or forced to have abortions. The mere fact that abusers can think to terrorize, manipulate and/or coerce a female victim to have a child or not have a child in order to continue their power and control games is indeed offensive enough. NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk Victoria:

Thank you for sharing your opinion about the article. We appreciate any and all feedback.

When we at the hotline started to conduct the survey with the callers, we were a bit taken back too because it is such a taboo subject matter to talk about and we weren’t really sure how the response was going to be when we asked questions about pregnancy coercion, etc. We often found that more of the callers were quite open to discuss the subject matter than we had intially anticipated.

We were taken back too by the number of callers expressing that their partner (either in a dating or marriage role) was coercing them to become pregnant. That was the focus of this particular study outlined in this article. The coercsion was oftentimes to trap the victim into the relationship so that they could continue to have power and control over the victim, among other reasons.

I’m sure that there will be other focus studies in the future to determine of those who were pregnant in an abusive relationship (coerced into the pregnancy or not), how many of those were encouraged to or forced to have abortions.

The mere fact that abusers can think to terrorize, manipulate and/or coerce a female victim to have a child or not have a child in order to continue their power and control games is indeed offensive enough.

NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

]]> By: Victoria http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1740 Victoria Wed, 18 May 2011 00:12:54 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1740 I am offended by this article and its (probably pro-choice) bias being that so many abusers do the EXACT opposite: they terrorize female partners into having abortions (I've also heard of abusive females having obortions even when in a healthy relationship with a partner willing to support them, but that is another subject). I was in an abusive relationship for many years and my male partner terrorized me frequently about even the possibility of pregnancy and threatened my life in the case that I wouldn't have an abortion. This is why your article is deeply offensive to me. Thankfully I never got pregnant by my abuser and am currently pregnant in a new relationship. I am offended by this article and its (probably pro-choice) bias being that so many abusers do the EXACT opposite: they terrorize female partners into having abortions (I’ve also heard of abusive females having obortions even when in a healthy relationship with a partner willing to support them, but that is another subject).

I was in an abusive relationship for many years and my male partner terrorized me frequently about even the possibility of pregnancy and threatened my life in the case that I wouldn’t have an abortion. This is why your article is deeply offensive to me.

Thankfully I never got pregnant by my abuser and am currently pregnant in a new relationship.

]]> By: HotlineAdmin_KL http://www.thehotline.org/2011/02/1-in-4-callers-surveyed-at-the-hotline-report-birth-control-sabotage-and-pregnancy-coercion/comment-page-1/#comment-1639 HotlineAdmin_KL Sun, 24 Apr 2011 16:51:43 +0000 http://www.thehotline.org/?p=2643#comment-1639 Dear J, I can imagine you are feeling an array of emotions right now. Maybe frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness. Pressuring you not to have an abortion is an example of reproductive coercion. I am sorry you are being put in such a difficult situation by your husband. We can not tell you what to do, but our hotline advocates would be happy to talk to you about options. You can call 1-800-799-7233 to talk to a live advocate 24 hours a day. We can help you find your local domestic violence program that often times offers counseling and support groups. You might also contact the Planned Parenthood in your area for questions about abortion. I am concerned that you have been feeling suicidal. If you start to feel this way again, it is important to reach out to someone. The Suicide Hotline is available 24 hours a day, and their number is 1-800-273-TALK. I know you feel alone right now, but there is help available. Please call us anytime. Hotline Admin_KL Dear J,
I can imagine you are feeling an array of emotions right now. Maybe frustration, anger, confusion, and sadness. Pressuring you not to have an abortion is an example of reproductive coercion. I am sorry you are being put in such a difficult situation by your husband. We can not tell you what to do, but our hotline advocates would be happy to talk to you about options. You can call 1-800-799-7233 to talk to a live advocate 24 hours a day. We can help you find your local domestic violence program that often times offers counseling and support groups. You might also contact the Planned Parenthood in your area for questions about abortion. I am concerned that you have been feeling suicidal. If you start to feel this way again, it is important to reach out to someone. The Suicide Hotline is available 24 hours a day, and their number is 1-800-273-TALK. I know you feel alone right now, but there is help available. Please call us anytime.
Hotline Admin_KL

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