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Men Put on Heels for Domestic Violence

The following blog entry was written by Amanda Dyson.

Many of us looked forward to July 4th for the long, fun filled weekend that it promised. Others had domestic violence on their minds.

It has been reported that in July in Tulsa, Oklahoma that domestic violence calls and requests for emergency protective orders are in higher demand after long weekends, especially the Tuesday after July 4th weekend. Part of the reason for the holiday surge may be increased drug or alcohol use and gathering together for festivities.

In Louisiana, men took a different holiday weekend approach for the Lake Charles 4th of July parade. 120 men, along with women’s shelter employees, put on their high heels to march against domestic violence with shouts of “Man up! Hands down! Stop domestic violence!” The group aims to have more men speak up for the issue and aren’t the only ones using footwear to make a statement.
Recently, men signed up to walk a mile in heels during Riverfest in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. The event raised money for the YWCA and the Carilee Fund and served to bring awareness to sexual assault and domestic violence in the community.

Men are sending an important message by showing their support to end domestic violence.  For some, July 4th weekend turned out to be an interesting weekend to promote awareness and walk in someone else’s shoes.

References:
Domestic Violence Increase During Holidays
http://www.ktul.com/news/stories/0710/752549.html
Men March Against Violence
http://www.wxvt.com/Global/story.asp?S=12756068
Hundreds of Men Walking in Heels to March Against Domestic Violence
http://www.weau.com/news/headlines/97408309.html

11 replies
  1. PATRICIA says:

    MY DAUGHTER SHOT HER ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND HE BEAT AN RAPED HER HE BEAT HER CHILDRN
    HE PUT GUNS TO HER HEAD KNIFE TO HER SON SHOWING THAT HE COULD GUT LIKE A PIG SHE SAW NO WAY OUT HE WAS AN INFORMANT WORKING FOR THFBI IN ST BERNARD PARISH SHE SAW NO WAY OUT.
    WE JUST WENT TO COURT WHERE WE WERE AMBUSHED WITH A PLEA BARGAIN WE HAD NO IDEA BECAUSE A SO CALLED PRO BONO ATTORNEY APPROACHED MY DAUGHTER AND SHE FELL FOR HIS B/S HOOK LINE SINKER .
    I PUT ALL THE EVIDENCE IN HIS HAND HE DID NOTHING FOR OVER 2 YEARS THIS WAS THE END RESULT.
    A PLEA BARGAIN TO MANSLAUGHTER 10YRS 5 SUSPENDED SHE IS PREGNANT AND THE SENTENCE WILL START AFTER THE BIRTH OF HER BABY.
    SHE HAD NO REAL REPRESENTATION SHE IS NOT A THREAT TO SOCIETY HAS NO RECORD FOR ANYTHING HER ABUSER HAD A RAP SHEET A MILE LONG

  2. ralph says:

    im a man and the women im with is abuseing me . she hit me with bats pans and anything she can get her hands on. im scared one day shes really goin to hurt me.. and i never hit her just try to stop her from hittin me my 14 son is scared for me. i dont thing its good for him to be around this. are there places for men to go? i fill theres no way out.

    • Diane says:

      Hello Mr. Murdaugh,

      Thank you for sharing your voice on our Blog. No one deserves to be abused in any way. Here at NDVH we can help you find places that offer support. We are a 24 hour Confidential and Anonymous Hotline that offers resources, safety planning, information and a listening ear as well. Please don’t hesitate to call if you would like to talk to an advocate at 1-800-799-7233.

      -Advocate at NDVH

  3. DENNY says:

    BECAME AN DISTRIBUTER FOR A NEWLY INVENTED LOCK THAT SELLS FOR 179.99 IN RETAIL STORES. THIS LOCK CANNOT BE PICKED, BUMPED AND ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE KICKED IN. ALSO HAS A FEATURE THAT WHEN LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE THE OUTSIDE KEY WILL NO LONGER OPERATE THE LOCK. I SOLD 2 TO A LADY THAT WAS BEING ABUSED AND HER HUSBAND STARTED KICKING IN THE DOOR, SHE YELLED TO HIM TO JUST KEEP KICKING THAT THE POLICE WOULD BE THERE SOON HE TRIED 10 OR 12 TIMS AND NEVER FAZED IT.SHE SWEARS BY IT. I’LL SELL THIS LOCK FOR 139.99 TO ANY ABUSED WOMEN. PLEASE GET THIS KNOWLEDGE OUT TO YOUR PEOPLE.

  4. Guest says:

    Ralph,

    I’m in a very similar situation. The mental, verbal and physical abuse is becoming overwhelming. And she doesn’t hold back even when my 13 year old son is over. I agree it seems like there is no voice for men being abused. She promises me that if I go to the authorities that she will tell them I am abusing her and she wants me arrested. I truly am a prisoner. The threats she makes, that if I leave her, are surreal. And based on her actions, I have no doubt she will follow thru on these threats.

    • Diane says:

      Hello Sir,

      I’m sorry to hear that you are in a situation like this. Please know that you can call our Hotline here at NDVH 24 hours a day and we can help you explore options, safety plan and provide resources that may be a helpful support to you. We are here to listen and help in any way that we can. Our number is 1-800-799-7233. We are confidential and anonymous.

      Sincerely,
      NDVH Advocate

  5. Susmita says:

    Dear Sir,
    I’m a married woman.my husband used to torture me a lot mentally as well as physically.My husbands family also used to torture me a lot and drove me out of there house.since then they havn’t yet contacted me though a full year passed.Now i’ve filed a case against my husband in domestic violence.Now my lawyer is not paying sincere attentions for my case and as a result i am very much tensed as there is no one for me.I’ve lost my father since i was 6 years old.Please suggest me what should i do so that i can at least lead a peaceful life.

  6. Ashley says:

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and love him with all my heart. He was previously married, now divorced, and his ex was abusive to him. When I met him, there were still holes in the walls of his house from damage she had caused from throwing things at him. But there are three sides to every story, his, hers, and the truth.
    He knows how to push my buttons and what to do to get a rise out of me. He knows exactly what to say or do, and which names to call me to put me over the edge. A few times over the past few months he’s pushed my buttons enough to get a rise out of me, then kept pushing and kept pushing. It’s always stupid things, like poking me, or taking up the entire bed and not moving over. But he doesn’t know when to stop and I end up just cracking.
    I don’t want to hit him, and immediately after I do I feel awful. I think “what kind of person am I? I love this man, how could I physically hurt him?” He would never lay a hand on me and I hate to think that I may be abusing him. I try to separate myself from the situation and just get away from it before it gets to that point, but sometimes I just can’t. It usually starts off as just goofing around and goes too far. He’s always mad at me the next day, which I can’t blame him, but I try to get him to understand that he needs to know when to stop instigating, or just not do it at all.
    Sometimes I feel like I’m crazy, like I can’t control myself and throw a fit. Then he calls me his ex’s name and that doesn’t help matters. But if the shoe fits…
    I don’t know what to do.

    • Diane says:

      Hi Ashley,

      Thank you for reaching out on our Blog. Abuse is not only physical, it can be emotional and verbal as well. There are different types of abuse that can influence power and control over another person including manipulation, humiliation and blame.

      Please know you can call our hotline at 1-800-799-7233. We would be more than happy to talk with you and answer any questions you may have. We can also provide resources for you where you can find support like counseling or support groups.

      Sincerely,
      NDVH Advocate

  7. ruth says:

    my name is ruth my husband of 24 yr. is abusing me every day he tread en toe kill me and he also blamed me for his drinking he has been drinking before i meet him left him 4 times the last time for 6 months i ran out of money and the hope-house where i lived only let you stay for 6 months .went back home august 2010. he told me that he will stop drinking . what a lie he even drinks Moore now then before please i need help he is47 and i will turn 52 soon.thank-you incant take it any Moore our county-sheriff want doe anything he knows the sherrif can you help me please thank you Mrs.hope less.

  8. Sondra says:

    As a survivor and now volunteer advocate, I am so pleased to see campaigns like these. It is my hope that there will be a day where men line up in support of non-violence in the home like they have around breast cancer. We have to keep it in the public realm – bring this out of the misconception of “private space”. Campaigns like this and men who study gender constructs and the ways to change the male perception of DV like Dr. Jason Katz – Harvard will be the change. I have used your line for myself and it helped me get to safety. ~peace

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