We appreciate your thoughts regarding the justice system and life after an abusive relationship. It is great that we have this forum where survivors can have a voice and speak out about domestic violence. If you would like to talk to someone about the process of moving forward you can call The Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.

Also, a good book about the process of moving forward from an abusive relationship is It’s My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence by Meg Kennedy Dugan and Roger Hock.

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Sorry to hear that you’ve stopped going to the group – at least, for now. The economic times are being hard on a lot of people, especially with the gas prices increasing.

It is important that you continue the self-care and self-compassion things for yourself. The praying, journaling, and writing stories are all good ways to continue that self care. When you began writing on this blog, we discussed some other things too – the youtube laughables and meditations, posting affirmations around your home, eating right and getting plenty of exercise are all components of great self-care techniques.

Some ideas, and a little bit more information about self-compassion can be found on Kristin Neff’s site, http://www.self-compassion.org/.

I don’t know about the pulsating device that you are speaking about. It seems that there are so many gimmicks that come about to resolve the PTSDs, and different theories out there; however, getting counseling is one of the best words of advice that we can give you about dealing with the PTSDs, in addition to the self-care and self-compassion techniques, as well the suggested support group.

Keep up the progress you are making and keep sights forward towards the future. The day will come when you are less affected by the PTSDs and the past experiences. If at all possible, even if you can’t go each week to the support group, try to go at least once a month or make a pact to go on a regular basis — even if it isn’t on as often as you would like for it to be at this time.

NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

Regarding Expectations: One thing to remember is to choose your battles and don’t try to overload yourself with too many expecations. Remember, too, to take one day at a time.

Regarding being out of gas: Unfortunately, a sign of the times to take gas into the equation. It sounds like you are making a leap of faith by changing jobs, but if you can at all possible try to stick to the open group. Sometimes having something consistent in your life helps to empower you to keep moving forward.

Regarding roller coaster ride: There is a quote that I ran across that may give you perspective on that:

“When I dare to be powerful to use my strength in the service of vision,
then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”
~ Andre Lorde

Hope that helps a bit. Keep up moving forward.

NDVH Hotline Advocate_kk

There are always going to be those trigger points in our lives that we are going to encounter from time to time. Counseling helps us to discover ways to cope with those trigger points, or as the woman referenced as “crossing the boundaries and breaking the locks on the door”. True, the quick knee-jerk reaction is to run when those occur, but the trick is to find a coping skill that allows you not to run immediately when faced with a triggering emotion, albeit the physical reaction may need to run (depending on what that triggering point is at the time).

Did I share a quote with you earlier? Even if I did, it would be appropriate to share it with you again here —

“Only when we are no longer afraid, do we begin to live.” ~ Dorothy Thompson

Keep up with your progress!

NDVH Advocate_kk