Changes in Life
We wanted to share the following personal essay submission opportunity with our blog readers/writers:
You are invited to submit a personal essay for an inspirational anthology: “The Woman I’ve Become.”
Seeking women of all ages who have experienced challenging, negative, toxic and/or abusive relationships in the past and have overcome these situations to become the woman she was meant to be. Were you raised in an overly restrictive, negative, disempowering or abusive family? Did you find yourself in a challenging or toxic relationship with men, friends, co-workers or your children? How did those relationships define the “earlier you”? What was the turning point? Was there some person(s) or event(s) that facilitated your beginning and/or continuing on this journey to greater self understanding and self definition? Who is the woman you’ve become?
Critria for Submission :
Name, age, email address, phone number (optional), mailing address, title of your submission on and a short bio on a title page; your name on all other pages
Minimum of 500 words; Maximum of 1,000 words
Double spaced
Submissions should be sent in an email attachment to grampat8@comcast.net
If you are unable to use attachments, you can either include the submission in the body of the email or snail mail it to:
Changes In Life, Anthology
305 Anne Ct
Prospect Heights, IL 60070
If your submission is accepted you will receive a copy of the anthology once it is published
* If you are interested in joining an ongoing larger community of women sharing their experiences, log on to changesinlife.wordpress.com
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 pm28 3:55 pm
Categories: share your voice
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Law enforcement does not take intrafamily threats, assaults, stalking and harassment seriously.
I cannot find resources for that type of problem. When I was assaulted by my half brother the police
were called and asked if anyone witnessed it and I said no. They told me it would be a waste of time to come out because 1. he was gone 2. I had no witnesses. They told me to call if he comes back or if he put marks on me.
I continued receiving threats of bodily harm and he threatened to go after my son and harm him.
He stalked and threw something at me while I was waiting at the bus stop by my house.
I filed a restraining order but when I went for the extension hearing, my brother mother and father testified for him and said there was no violence and I was lying. The Judge listen to those two elderly looking people and believed them. The Judge said to me “I was like a Shakespear play, then he said, the Lady Doth protest too much” and denied the extension for the restraining order.
That really made my brother feel empowered and he and the other men in the family got worst.
Exactly 2 weeks after the Judge denied the restraining order extension, the father who testified in court
tried to assault me but I ran and locked myself in a room and he ended up choking and assaulting my sister on my front porch and a stranger had to pull him off. He was arrested and convicted, but it has not stopped my brother.
I have been living a nightmare because I went back for another try at a restraing order when he left fliers with my photo and the caption “help the world kill this bitch” and my address on it but he has avoided service. DCMPD tried to serve him, and I paid three process server companies each time he avoided service. The same Judge who denied it the first time is the Judge they said I had to deal with.
Because I cannot serve him, the Judge won’t grant the restraining order. He continues stalking me, sending harassing mail anonymously so I can’t use it in court.
Now he has been sending my birth certificate, my state issue identification to various people
slandering me and I an afraid of identity theft. I can’t use that in court either because he is doing it anonymously. I am at my wits end with worry and fear. I have no protection or legal remedy.
He is also sending anonymous letters with my photo to IRS, FBI, DHS, making false accusations of terrorism and money laundering thinking it will make them grab me and take me to guantanamo bay.]
I was born in the U.S,A, at Walter Reed Army Hospital and I have never been out of the country or in any trouble. I am in my 50s with severe asthma and a heart condition.
I just do not know what I can do. All of this occurred in Wash D.C. ,
If anyone has any suggestion, please let me know. Sooner or later he will kill me.
Dear Missy,
Please go to the local battered women’s shelter along with your sister. You can stay there safely. They will assign you an advocate to represent both of you in the legal system. Often the advocates at the shelters will protect you, even though the police do nothing. They can even relocate you anonymously if you are willing to go no contact. I am sure the IRS and FBI think a complete lunatic is stalking you.
It sounds like it would be in your best interests to cut all ties with your family and start over in another state or country. Don’t give up hope.
well i started shooting off emails to state senaters and also shot one off to Lynn Rosenthough the presidents advisor on domestic violence. maby it helped maby it didnt. it depends how thick those politicle threads are. judges get pissy when you rat on them. but when youve got nothing left to loose, what the hell. i live in illinois, and senator aaron schock was at least symathetic & shot my emale to the states attorneys office. ill admit i was threatened by mason county states attorney, & was told to be damn careful who i write lettery to or it could work out bad for me in court! so you know what i did. i wrote as many letters as i could to as many government officles as time allowed.these ,golf playen coffee drinking elbowrubbing boobs dont care. court officials sometimes need to be removed from there high hourse. show some compassion & put bad people in jail. save us girls from any more ass beatings,good luck girl. get away from those people. get a new famialy. your old one stinks.if we keep hanging around with garbage, pertty soon we,ll be trash.
I seen your comment about officers not taking intrafamily threats, assaults, stalking and harassment seriously.I have to say i 100% agree with you.I went through a domestic marriage for years.I almost died.Even when i put restraining orders on him it did no good cause when he did violate them and i reported it i had no witnesses to prove he had violated it.I eventually had to drop the Restraining Order because he had threatened to kill me and my children and i was terrified for our lives.It took years to get away from him and thank God that I got out alive.Theres a lot of abuse that women go through and because they can’t prove it we always hear the words”we need proof”.What’s it honestly going to take,a women dying trying to save her or her children’s life before the authorities stand up to take this seriously?I almost did lose my life and i will never forget my life flashing before my eyes.
my best friend has been with her current boyfriend for about 2 years. They’re always fighting it seems, he gets in her face, they exchange comments not even an enemy would dare say. he gets in her face while driving, threatens to kick her out and i could go on forever. shes dealt with this for some time, thinking that its no big deal.she loves him.. and wanted him to get better. until tonight. he shoved her across the room, leaving her with another bruise and spit in her face. you get the point, his dad is in prison for rape, and his mother and sisters all have sexual attractions to him. so i understand where his anger comes from. She has known she deserves better for awhile now but its his apartment, he has the job, and he pays the bills… so where does she go from here? she has to play nice so he continues to pay her bills but once an argument strikes up, their back in the boxing rink. please any advice would be great.
Please be encouraged and know that you can move through these changes, you have the strength, the wisdom and the wherewithall to leave the abusive relationship that you are in. While I’m still going back and forth to court, I know that my kids and I are safe and I know that I have broken the cycle of violence. We have lost all material possessions and have gained the insights only gleaned from risking a new life. Step out into the great unkown….trust that that little voice inside of you telling you to leave knows what it’s talking about…
me and husband have been together for 6 years he has a problem wth drinking i didnt relize it untill about a year into our relationship when he got drunk n verbally abusied me and broke his own hand by hitting a wall i still stayed with him.Right before i got pregnant with our first baby together we had another problem where him and his brother got into a fist fight drunk n when i went to stop it he hit me in the face not on purpose at least i didnt think so the police came n he got arrested for abuse witch inturn resulted in a slap on the wrist and some domestic violence classes. The abuse continued not really hitting just verbal n pushing while i was pregnant i had our son n then rite after got pregnant agian n had our daughter they are 11 months apart.When our daughter was 5 weeks old he hit me agian n pushed my60 year old mother down on the ground i called the police this time he served six months in jail n had to complete a 6 month out patient rehab n 1 year dv classes we lost everything while he was gone our home everything including me letting my oldest son from a previous marrage go live wth his father due to my husbands mother callin cps on me sevral time to the point i thought it was not good for my son to b questioned 1 a week for unfound reasons.Well he came home n i let him come bac to live wth me he was good for a while he did have his moments of verbal abuse n sum slip ups drinkin untill one night he came home n was pushing n shovin me n my mom so i called the police agian n he was sentenced to 2 yrs state prison iam dealing with all the blame from his mother she said its my fault cause he has never been this way in past relationships anyhew what iam on here for is to try to get help i cannot get aid from the state i really want to get a career and move on with my life n my children what can i do if i cant get help from the state????